Diamond In The Rough
by FreelanceDreamer
Summary: BAU newcomer Riane Collins joined the BAU to try and carve out a better life for herself. However, expectations don't always become reality and difficult time wills reveal conflicting emotions. An OC oriented story that will eventually be Hotch/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.** Hello there. Well, I'm taking on another fandom and jumping (sans lifejacket) into the Criminal Minds fandom. One I have not been a part of for very long. First, this story is AU but not really AU enough to warrant it being categorized as such. In my story the team consists of Hotch, Rossi, Reid, Morgan, Garcia, Prentiss and J.J. along with my OC Riane Collins. This is – or rather will eventually be – a Hotch/OC story but that might not be for a while.

I'm Canadian. All my geography of the United States is google-based. Along with all my medical knowledge. This is going to be very rough because I just want to get it up before I leave town.

Please Read and Review for they are love. Enjoy.

* * *

Riane Collins had a schedule that constantly changed and was hectic enough to put her on constant edge most of her waking moments. Not only did it take her over two hours to get to work in the morning from the time she woke up but her work days were almost never the nine-to-five that she craved. Then again, none of her other coworkers at the BAU worked the hours that they wanted to, they were in the same position as she was; read: a slave to the job.

Which was fine most of the time. She only had a few major commitments that she had to keep, and it had all seemed to be working out fine until that point. Which was a blessing because when she'd (cautiously) taken the job she'd done so ready to quit at a moment's notice.

"You're not sleeping?"

Riane looked up at the stoic face of her boss. The man was either in his late forties or early fifties, with only a hint of gray at his temples – which was surprising given his occupation.

"I wouldn't classify my current state as awake."

The slight curl of his lips was counted as a win in Riane's books, the man rarely smiled despite the fact that from what she could tell, Aaron Hotchner had quite the sense of humour.

"I know what you mean. Got a minute?" he asked as he took a seat opposite her which made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on edge. Hotchner was a hard man to read and the we-need-to-talk tone would have made anyone run for the hills.

She shrugged, "Sure. What's up?"

"How long have you worked for the BAU?"

Riane arched an eyebrow, "About six months"

He nodded, "And would you say that you get along with the other members of the team?"

She grinned, "Oh yeah. That's a good group of agents you got there Hotchner."

"So no problems?"

"Everything is extremely copasetic."

He glanced up at her over the form he'd been filling out, likely the survey he was asking her questions from. Riane idly wondered how many questions were on the survey.

"Interesting word choice."

"Interesting job."

Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow, "That's one way to look at it."

"Well Agent Hotchner, perspective is in the eye of the beholder."

He nodded slowly before closing the file that housed the survey. "We'll be landing soon. I'll leave you be."

Riane watched him go back to his seat before looking out the window. In the distance she could see the familiar lights of the airport and couldn't help but feel a small twinge of excitement; as much as she loved to travel, coming home was always the best part.

Even if it only was for a little while.

After the plane had landed and her feet were back on solid ground Riane glanced at her watch; it wasn't too late, if she left now she could still make it.

"Got somewhere you gotta be Ryan?" Derrick Morgan's smooth voice interrupted her train of thought and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Some of us have lives Darcy."

He whistled, "Oh. I get it. Kitty's got some claws huh?"

"Well Kitty can back off because I called dibs on this fine piece of dark chocolate long before you ever got here."

Riane chuckled as the hacker extraordinaire herself Penelope Garcia walked up behind Morgan, winding herself around him.

"You can have him Garcia. I'm more of a Clooney girl myself."

"I'm sure I could grow a beard." He joked.

"Yeah. It's totally just the lack of facial that's keeping me out of your pants."

"I called dibs!"

The banter was interrupted by Hotch's entrance into the room, no doubt wanting to start and the post-case paperwork that had to be done. Riane inwardly sighed, the paperwork would take the better part of an hour…it had been a bad case to say the least.

"Listen," Hotch started. "It's been a hard couple of days. I want everyone to go home and get some rest so we're ready to go at normal time tomorrow."

There was a chorus of sighs of relief from her fellow team members and Riane had to stop herself from fist pumping in happiness. Saying a quick goodbye to everyone in the bullpen she all but ran to her car. It was late which meant the traffic would be a little lighter which meant she could get within the hour.

Hopping into her black sedan she rested her head against the back of her seat she relaxed into it. She hadn't had her license for that long and quite frankly she hated driving but it had become necessary. Especially with the job, if it wasn't driving to and from work it was driving one of the unmarked black vans to crime scenes and whatnot.

She pulled out onto the freeway, it was late and the driving wasn't too bad which was due partly to the lack of traffic. She was about ten minutes from home when her phone rang, prompting a glance sideways at the handheld in the passenger seat, despite the best intentions she'd yet to get a hands-free device. Nevertheless Riane Collins would never talk and drive at the same time; she was too much of a nervous driver.

Not to mention she'd seen enough phone-oriented car accidents to last a lifetime. Some people never learned.

The car hit her from the driver's side, causing the phone to be shot at the driver's seat which happened to be the least of Riane's problems. The last thing she saw before everything went black was the lack of headlights on the Dodge Grand Caravan.

* * *

Jennifer Jareau pulled the phone sharply away from her head when her receiver started to scream in her ear.

"Woah…okay there Riane, you need a new phone."

Hanging up, she gave another glance at the purse that was currently taking up residence with her own on the hood of her car.

"J.J. you still here? Will's gonna wonder where you got to!" Derek yelled to her with one arm casually around Garcia.

J.J. smirked, "You let me worry about Will. Hey, do me a favour? Try calling Riane's cell, I just tried and all I got was the reason for why I'm going to need a hearing aid. Sounded almost like a fax."

"Sure," he shrugged as he pulled his phone out and started to dial. "What's up?"

J.J. shook her head, "Nothing. She just left her purse on the plane and I was going to bring it to her."

A minute later Derrick hung up the phone. "No luck. It wouldn't even go through. It must be turned off or something."

"That's strange. I guess I'll just keep it for the night. I mean, she has my number if she wants to come get it but I have to get home so…"

"Good plan. You go home to Will and Henry and I'll take this home." Garcia purred as she ran her hand down Derrick's home.

"What about Kevin?"

"You two get along don't you?"

"Whatcha got going on in that head of yours Baby Girl?"

"Well…"

J.J. laughed as she watched the two walk off. Despite what it looked like there really wasn't anything romantic between the two but she sincerely hoped they never stopped flirting, it was one of the funniest parts of coming to work.

Sighing, J.J. got into her own vehicle and started the drive home. Whatever was in the purse could wait until morning. All she wanted to do was get home to her husband and son and get a good night's sleep with the case solved and put away.

* * *

Aaron Hotchner was going to be late.

Not really late, only by five, maybe ten minutes but he was going to be late nonetheless. It irked him to say the least but there was nothing he could do about it, Jack was in an awkward stage and it presented itself in the form of tantrums and especially grumpy mornings.

God he wished Haley were there. She would know how to handle Jack, she'd always known what to do with him and how to comfort him. What did he know? He was all but married to his job and was for the most part an absent father.

Parking his car he grabbed his brief case and tried to get to his office as fast as possible without looking like he was in a hurry. However when he walked into the bullpen he found that none of the attention was on him, which was concerning because everyone in the room looked overly stressed for people who'd just supposedly had a good night's rest.

"What's going on?" he questioned.

"Riane was in a car accident last night." Came J.J.'s solemn response from his left.

Aaron felt the shock register over his features "What?"

"Last night Riane left her purse in the plane so I tried calling her cell but I couldn't get a response. Actually, it sounded like getting a fax which was strange. When I couldn't get an answer this morning we ran a trace on her plates and found out that her car had been in an accident about a half hour after we got back yesterday."

"Seems a little drastic," he countered. "Running a trace on her plates? How did you know she wasn't at home?"

"I drove by." It was Spencer Reid to speak this time. "J.J. called me this morning and because I live a little bit more up town from her I decided to drive by. Her car wasn't there, and there isn't a garage it could have been in either."

He nodded, "Where is she now?"

"Garcia's working on it now." Morgan replied.

No sooner had Morgan finished did the phone on his desk ring.

"Hey Baby Girl, what did you find?"

"She's at Potomac. Brought in via ambulance just after eleven last night."

"That's in Woodbridge. What's her condition?"

"Sorry Sugar, I didn't go that far. I called you as soon as I knew where she was."

"Thanks Garcia."

"Call me as soon as you know anything!"

Aaron let out a breath when the phone was hung up. "Alright. I'm going to head down there now. J.J. do we have the next case ready?"

She seemed to hesitate for a moment but eventually nodded, "Yeah. Everything's already set up in the briefing room."

He nodded, "Okay. Get started. I'll call with any updates but I shouldn't be that long."

"Hotch," Derek cut in. "You sure you don't want one of us to go with you?"

"No. You're needed here. I will call if anything happens but for now we need to keep working."

Although he knew that the rest of the team wasn't happy it couldn't be avoided. They couldn't all go down to the hospital, especially not when they'd already promised to lend their services to a local police service.

Saying a final goodbye Aaron got back into his car and headed for the hospital. He hoped she wasn't in too bad of a state; he hadn't known her for that long but he knew her well enough to know that she would hate being stuck in a hospital bed.

After he'd parked at the hospital it took him less than fifteen minutes to get past the front desk and get to her room.

He'd seen better.

Then again he'd seen much, much worse.

From what he could see most of the damage was to her left side, there were bandages on her left arm and left along with major bruising to the face and neck. Not to mention the now stitched up cut and other contusions.

"Excuse me sir? Can I ask who you are?"

Aaron turned to see a slightly past middle-aged woman standing in the doorway, despite her apparent age her face gave nothing away suggesting a woman who'd been working in the trauma centre a long time.

She also wasn't wearing a wedding ring, something Aaron could empathize with.

"Aaron Hotchner. I'm with the BAU. I'm Ms. Collins' boss."

"Oh," the woman seemed to relax and offered him a hand. "Rita Abringer, I'm the physician overseeing Ms. Collins' treatment."

Aaron nodded as he shook the doctor's hand before looking back at Riane, "What's her condition doctor?"

The doctor sighed and shook her head. "The good news is that most of the injuries are typical of a "T-Bone" car accident. Her left ankle along with the wrist and forearm were completely crushed, her hip was dislocated, there were two broken ribs, and she has a concussion and some ear damage however the extent isn't exactly well known for now. She's also sustained a bad case of whiplash but surprisingly there appears to be no major back injury. Of course, this is on top of all the bruising and lacerations sustained to the body."

The look on his face must have been worse than he'd thought because the next thing he knew Rita Abringer was trying to reassure him.

"It sounds like a lot, I know. But the ribs, the bruising and the cuts will heal fairly quickly. There was little internal bleeding which we took care of during surgery – "

"Surgery?"

" - … yes. Which went very well and we were able to clean up her arm and leg a little bit. I'm sorry that this is coming all at once but she didn't have anyone listed as an emergency contact so there was nothing we could do."

Aaron frowned, it had been the same way when she'd applied for the job at the BAU and he'd been meaning to ask her to find someone to list in the case of an emergency.

"Will she be okay?"

"She'll need more surgeries to fix the nerve and tendon damage in her arm and leg, but right now I don't see any reason for why she shouldn't make a full recovery. However, I can't make any guarantees."

He nodded slowly, "I understand. Excuse me."

Pulling his phone out he stepped into the hallway to call the team. They weren't going to like what he had to say but there was nothing he could do to change it. Halfway through the call he felt a hand on his arm and looked to his Rita pointing back at Riane's room.

"She's awake Mr. Hotchner. You can go see her if you want but she'll be very tired."

Aaron thanked the doctor and finished on the phone, composing himself before going back to Riane's room. The doctor had been right, she was awake but the way she was staring at the ceiling suggested she was fighting to stay awake.

Taking a seat on the chair next to her bed Aaron reached out and clasped her hand in his own, effectively drawing her attention to him.

When she met his gaze he saw the panic overtake her features and her grip on his hand tightened. Looking at the monitor Hotch also noted that her heart rate had increased.

"Riane?" He kept his voice low on purpose, trying to get her to calm down.

She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a cough that made his own chest ache.

He shook his head. "Don't talk, just listen for a minute. You were in a car accident last night. We're in the hospital now. Do you understand me?"

She nodded but the panicked look in her eyes didn't fade, nor did the grip on his hand. When she opened her mouth again to speak he leaned in to make it easier for her, she obviously had something to say, he may as well have made it easier for her.

"Please…" The word was a pained whisper and he frowned.

"I…I don't understand. Are you in pain?"

She shook her head and he could see tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

Giving her hand a light squeeze he drew her attention back to him again, hoping that she could compose herself enough to get out what she desperately needed to say.

"My sons," she gasped. "I need…my sons."


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. **I know it's unlikely that Riane could have kept something so big from her coworkers, especially a bunch of profilers, but I'm going to continue this story under the pretense that she did. The reasons for why will become apparent later. This chapter may be a tad bit boring and perhaps OOC but I needed to set some things up for later in the story.

To **Hope: **Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last one.

* * *

"Wait…what?!" David Rossi pressed the cell closer to his ear and tried to ignore the questions coming at him from the others on the team.

"Children, as in the plural of child? But Riane doesn't have one kid let alone multiple….Okay….Alright, I'll take J.J. and go check it out. How is she?...Yeah well I would be too…Alright, I call you from there."

Hanging up the phone her shrugged at the rest of the team before beckoning for J.J.

"I need to go pick-up Riane's sons. Hotch thought it would be best if you came with me."

There was a stunned silence around the room and Rossi sympathized with them, Riane had worked with them for almost half a year and there had been no mention of children.

Triplet boys as it turned out.

J.J. nodded and grabbed her bag before pausing, "How old are they? I mean, we don't have any car seats."

Rossi frowned, he hadn't thought of that. "They're fourteen months. How are we going to do this?"

"Hold up, hold _up. _Riane has fourteen month old triplet sons that she never told us about? What's that all about?" Derek sounded confused and hurt.

"Maybe it was to protect them." Spencer piped up from the corner. "She does have a dangerous job. I mean if Hotch hadn't killed Foyet when he had Foyet might have killed Jack."

There was a hesitant chorus of acknowledgment from around the table. Rossi understood where Reid was coming from but there were still a lot of variables.

"We could sit here and speculate but it's we've not all kept some secrets from the team at times. Right now we just need to help out Riane in any way we can. Let's just all go and pick-up her kids, the case was a dud and we still have the rest of the day."

Rossi nodded after Emily Prentiss had spoken, she was right. Whatever the reasons Riane had, they were bad in her children's best interest and no one could fault her for trying to protect her children.

* * *

When they pulled up to the address Hotch had given them J.J. was nervous, then again she always was when it came to children.

It came with being a mother.

In then end they'd all come, even Garcia had wanted to be there. Walking up the door with Rossi she knocked on the door, it was a nice enough house although the yard could use a little work.

The door opened to reveal a girl who looked to be in her later teens with a toddler in her arms. The boy had dark red hair, it was almost brown but it was a sunny day and the light reflected the red colour. Dark brown eyes too, J.J. noted. The woman was probably a babysitter, and from the looks of it she took care of the children from a couple of families.

"Whatever you're selling I'm not interested. I'm a bit busy as you can see and I trust you can find you way back out of my driveway." The teen sounded exhausted and started to close the door.

"No. M'am-"J.J. put her hand on the door to stop it from closing and pulled out her badge. "-My name if Jennifer Jareau, This is David Rossi. We work for the BAU-"

"- The BAU, do you know Riane Collins?"

J.J. smiled, "Yes. That's why we're here. Do you mind if we come in?"

The woman nodded and stepped back, making a gesture for them to enter.

"Sorry for the confusion, we get a lot of people trying to sell us all kinds of crap. I'm Heather Miller by the way."

Rossi shook her hand, "Nice to meet you. Are you related to Riane?"

Heather shook her head, putting the boy down in a playpen, "No, no. I'm just a sitter. Is Riane okay? I didn't hear from her last night and she usually doesn't leave the boys here overnight, she prefers to be with them."

He nodded, "How many children do you watch Ms. Miller?"

"Oh. No more than five. Actually, Riane's kids are the only ones here now. The first weeks of summer are always lighter because of all the vacations people go on."

J.J. frowned, taking another look at the boy. "Only Riane's? That's her son?"

"I know right?" Heather laughed. "They look nothing like her but yeah, that's Harrison. Atticus and Nathanael are upstairs. They're sleepers those two."

J.J. caught Rossi's gaze. He looked about as confused as she felt. Looking back at the boy, J.J. compared the boy's red hair and brown eyes to Riane's brown hair and blue eyes. The face shape was familiar though, along with the long fingers, she would have to be closer to point out any more genetic similarities.

"So…where's Riane? I mean, she always comes to pick up the boys. She's never sent anyone else before…I don't even know if I can let them go with you."

J.J. took a seat at the kitchen table and motioned for Heather to take a seat across from her, "Riane was in a car accident last night-"

"A car accident?!" Heather's sudden shout caused a whimper to come from Harrison and J.J. reached out and put a hand on her arm.

"Yes. She's in the hospital and my boss is with her right now. She's awake, but she's been badly injured. According to the doctor, she should make a full recovery."

Heather leaned back in her chair, the blood having drained from her face.

"Oh my God…"

Rossi smiled gently, "This is a good thing Heather. She's going to be okay."

Heather nodded slowly, "Yeah I guess so."

"About the children, because Riane can't take care of them we're taking them into custody. But don't worry, they won't go into care or anything like that, we're going to take them to her and then figure everything out from there."

Heather glanced over to Harrison and J.J. could tell that she wasn't happy about the idea of handing over the boys to people she didn't know.

"I promise you," J.J. started. "This is all legal and nothing will happen to them."

After a moment Heather nodded, "Okay."

Rossi nodded, "I'll go get the rest of the team."

J.J. watched Rossi go to get the others before walking over to the play pen, Harrison looked up at her with wide eyes, obviously not too happy about the strange blonde lady hovering over him.

"He's shy to begin with but he'll talk your ear off when he gets to know you. He's not as bad as Nathanael though, I can't tell you how many times he's given me a heart attack summersaulting out of that thing."

J.J. laughed, "My son Henry is a climber too."

Heather grinned, "That's cute. I'll go get Nathanael and Atticus."

"Can you manage?"

"Yupp! They're pretty decent walkers anyways."

"Oh. My. God! Is that Riane's son? He's such a cutie!" Garcia's high-pitched squeal came from her left and J.J. had to laugh. Unfortunately, Harrison did not find it as funny as she did, poor guy looked terrified.

Derek whistled, "Look at that hair! I gotta go with Garcia on that one. Definitely Cute."

"Red hair is rare," Spencer began. "In fact, given her children's physical appearance the father must have had brown eyes and red hair. Because Riane has blue eyes, the gene was overpowered by the dominant brown eye colour. However, red hair is a recessive which means that one of Riane's parents had red hair which was passed but not shown in Riane which she then passed on to her sons. If she were to have another child with the same man it would have brown hair."

Emily nodded, "Still, those chances plus the probability of having triplets..."

"Given the rarity of triplet births, there is an unsurprising lack of studies. There are a little over four million deliveries each year in the U.S., and of those, only about 7,000 are sets of triplets. Most of those are aided by fertility treatments. As far as we know, Riane pregnancy was completely natural which sends the probability through the roof."

"Speaking of which…" Rossi tilted his head in the direction of the stairs where Heather was making her way down with another red-haired, brown-eyes child in her arm to match the one she was guiding down the stairs with the other hand.

J.J. stared for a moment, she'd seen twins before but it was downright strange to see three children that looked exactly the same.

Heather looked up and grinned at her, "I know. Crazy right? I've been watching them for a little over half a year and sometimes it takes me a minute to figure out who's who."

"I can imagine" Emily murmured stepping forward and outstretching her arms.

"And who's this little guy?"

"This," Heather started, handing over the sleepy child in her arms. "Is Atticus. I'm not sure if Riane is a big _To Kill A Mockingbird _fan or not but the name kinda fits."

Atticus studied Emily for a moment but his tiredness seemed to get the better of him and he put his head down on her shoulder.

"He seems small for a fourteen month old."

Heather nodded, "They were premature, they're only a year corrected date."

"Oooh I don't care! They're adorable! Can I?" It was Garcia this time that was ready to have her arms full with a child.

Derek laughed, "I think you've scared this one Baby Girl."

Garcia frowned and took a breath, "Okay, okay. I'm calm now."

"Here." Heather chuckled as she handed over the other child she had with her. "Nathanael is the risk-taker, I'm sure he can deal with you."

Garcia cooed at Nathanael as the boy looked at her like she had two heads. J.J. couldn't help but grin, it was good to see the team smiling, it was too infrequent as it was.

"Hey Spence, why don't you grab Harrison? He's a shy kid and he might be better with you."

Spencer's eyebrows popped up into his hairline but to his credit he nodded and picked up the squirming toddler, it took a minute but Harrison settled and stared at Spencer's face. When Spencer stared back J.J. cracked up.

"What?" He asked, looking over.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just a good fit."

"Don't act so surprised, Henry loves me."

"You're his Godfather."

Spencer rolled his eyes and went back to focusing on Harrison. It was funny to see the team fawning over the triplets, even though they'd done the same when Jack and Henry had been young.

"Do you guys need car seats? Riane always leaves them here in case there's an emergency and we need to leave the house." Heather looked just as amused as J.J. felt.

J.J. nodded, "That would be great."

* * *

Aaron Hotchner stood outside the hospital as he waited for his team to arrive. They'd called him before they left but judging from the background noise, they'd been having some trouble getting the car seats into the vans.

When he'd left Riane she had calmed down quite a bit. From what the doctors had been able to ascertain, there had been some ear damage, which probably accounted for the ringing she'd mentioned to him. Other than that she seemed to be reasonable optimistic about her condition, either that or she was just hoping the damage wasn't too bad so she could get back to her children.

He still couldn't really believe it. Triplet fourteen month old boys. With some quick math he'd come to the conclusion that she would have gone back to work when they were only eight months old. He couldn't help but wonder what had made her so desperate to get back to work; then again, from what he knew she was a single mother and raising one child was hard on the bank account let alone three.

When he saw two black vans pull into the parking lot he waved to get their attention. It had turned out to be a hot day so it would be better for them to get the children into the hospital as quickly as possible and just let a couple of agents park after.

As soon as the vans came to a stop he pulled open the side door and was thoroughly unprepared for what he saw. Even as he worked to get the child closest to him out of the car seat – something he'd done many times when Jack was younger - he was stuck by their physical appearance because it was so different to Riane's. Pulling the child out he tucked the boy against his side.

"Myself, J.J. and Reid will take the boys inside. Find a place to park and meet us inside, she's in room 305."

He took a step back as the vans pulled away before holding the door for J.J. and Reid. Once inside he gave them a quick run-down of Riane's condition, he'd told them most over the phone but he filled them in on some of the smaller details.

"Did the doctor mention how long she thought Riane might be kept here?"

Hotch shook his head, "They're not too sure at the moment. She still has to have at least one more surgery to repair the crushed bones but they haven't even given a rough date."

Spencer nodded, "It makes sense, there can be a lot of complications with crushed bone injuries including dehydration, coagulation disorders, elevated creatine phosphokinase and myoglobin levels, hyperkalemia and hypocalcaemia, which could cause life-threatening arrhythmias and therefore need urgent and aggressive therapy."

"Spence, she's going to be fine." J.J.'s tone was firm and left no room for negotiation.

He nodded, "You're probably right."

Hotch's attention was pulled to the boy in his arms when he heard a gurgle. He quirked an eyebrow as he watched the boy immerse himself in the button holding the halves of his cuff together.

"Do we know which one is which?" he asked.

"I think you've got Atticus. Spence either has Nathanael or Harrison-"

"You don't know."

"Not a clue," J.J. laughed.

Aaron smirked, "She's right in here."

"Are we going to take them in?" Spencer asked.

Hotch shrugged, "They've bandaged most of the damage, and she wants to see them. I don't see how we can't not take them in."

Although Hotch could see that neither J.J. nor Spencer was happy about it they nodded and went in. No sooner had they entered the room that the screaming started, the once docile children were completely excited, squirming and reaching for their mother.

To her credit Riane just laughed and reached out with her right arm, beckoning them forward. Hotch hesitated and saw J.J. and Spencer do the same; although it wouldn't be intentional, the three boys could do a lot of damage to their newly injured mother.

Riane sighed good-naturedly, "They won't stop until you let them see me. I'm not going to break guys."

Acquiescing, Hotch placed the boy in his arms on the bed. With a laugh that almost sounded like a sob Riane gathered him to herself, to which the child gladly went.

"You must have missed me huh Nathanael? I never get hugs like this from you."

Hotch smirked when the child replied with a string of sounds that sounded vaguely like Russian. To his sides J.J. and Spencer were trying not to drop the children they were holding who were now on the verge of tears, visibly distraught at not being able to be with their mother like Nathanael was.

"Here," Riane said trying to shift over to the side of the bed to make room for all her children, ignoring the advice she'd been given earlier that told her to keep as still as possible.

When there was enough room Atticus and Harrison were put on the bed and Riane made a valiant attempt to hug them all with one arm. Her children looked euphoric, cooing for the most part and grabbing at her hair.

"Knock knock." Hotch turned to see Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi and Garcia at the door.

Riane beamed, "Hey guys! Come on in."

As the rest of team filed in Riane gestured to the couple of chairs in the room, "Sit down so I can thank you guys for bringing me my boys at eye level."

"Riane," Emily started. "You don't need to thank us."

Riane shook her head, "Yes I really do and Nathanael so help me if you hit your brother again I'm feeding you to a dingo."

Rossi laughed, "A dingo?"

Riane grinned, "It is completely plausible."

"Sure but there aren't any dingoes in Virginia."

"I know that and you know that but he doesn't"

There was a chorus of laughter around the room and Hotch was glad to see that there was some humour in the situation. Car accidents and federal agents didn't always equal fun times, especially when children were involved.

"So how are you Ryan? And be honest." Derek's tone was serious as he took in all the physical damage.

"Honestly? Everything hurts and I have a headache that rivals a migraine but I'm okay, and I mean that."

"Well there no rush," Hotch tacked on. "Take as much time as you need, seeing as you went back to work four months before you had to."

Riane grinned sheepishly, "Yeah…guys I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my boys. I just…I don't even know to be honest."

"Oh Sweetie, no one cares, especially if it means that I get to babysit."

"Garcia you have no idea what you're asking."

"But look at them! You gotta tell me something though; how the hell do you tell them apart?"

Riane laughed, "They don't even look the same to me anymore. You should have seen them as newborns though, very stylish bracelets."

"I bet," Spencer murmured.

"Besides," Riane continued. "They might look the same but they're really different. Harrison is my shy guy, Nathanael is more of a tough, leader-type and Atticus is an old soul. Seriously, he was born with wise eyes I swear."

"Who's the oldest?" Derek asked.

"Atticus. It was Atticus, then Nathanael, then Harrison."

One of the boys turned sharply to look at his mother although Hotch had no idea which one it was.

Riane brushed his bangs away from his eyes, "It's all good. We're just talking about you."

Seemingly content with the answer the child in question went back to playing with the blanket.

"Who's that?" Emily asked.

"Atticus," Riane answered. "Harrison is the sleeping one and Nathanael is the one trying to decipher Hotch's cuff. You may have a fan there Hotchner."

Aaron watched Nathanael play with the button on his sleeve. "Jack used to do that when he was young too."

"Ahh. So there's hope for him yet."

He grinned, "I would say so."

"The dingoes will not be pleased."

Their conversation was cut off by a shout as Nathanael, frustrated by his lack of success with the button, tried to push Hotch away.

"Nathanael, that button is not meant to come off. I know you're tired, and probably hungry. What time is it?"

"Just after nine." Garcia answered.

"Okay, very hungry." Riane acquiesced. "I don't have anything here. I don't even think my purse is in the state."

"Oh!" J.J. jumped up. "Here," she said handing over the purse. "You left it on the plane yesterday."

"J.J. you are a star. Thank you!" Riane took the purse from J.J., trying to maneuver around her sleeping son.

"Here Nathanael I have…cookies that are probably stale but you'll eat them anyways right?"

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes and watched the boys eat (Atticus having also accepted a cookie). It was only when Riane yawned that they all seemed to remember where they were and why they were there.

"Sorry kid, I guess we're keeping you up huh?" Derek asked.

"No…well yes but I'm just trying to figure out some things. Rather, I'm trying to figure out three things." Riane replied with her eyes fixed on Harrion, who'd slept through the majority of the hospital visit.

"I mean," she continued. "Heather is great but I'd feel guilty if I just left my kids with her especially seeing as I could be in here for a while."

"Pshhh. Riane there's five of us and three toddlers. We can handle it." Garcia said trying to reassure her.

"Yeah I know but I don't want to split them up and I can't ask you guys to look after my kids…that's just too much."

"Come on Riane!" Garcia scolded. "Me and my man here can definitely take care of it."

Riane laughed, "What about Kevin?"

"He'll understand."

"Garcia…" Riane half whined, "You can't do that to him, it wouldn't be fair."

"I'll do it."

Seven heads whipped around to stare at the source of the voice: Aaron Hotchner.

Riane shook her head. "Hotch…no. You already don't have enough time to spend with Jack, I can't just dump three kids on you."

He rolled his eyes, "I can take a couple of weeks off. It would be a good way for Jack and I to spend to time together. School just got out for the summer anyways and he needs something to do."

Rubbing her temple with her good hand Riane sighed, "I don't like this."

"You know, I have already gone through this with my own son." Hotch stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah Riane," Emily added. "And we'll be here to help him out. Right now you just need to get better."

"…Alright, alright, alright fine. But you'll have to stay at my place then unless you want to move everything into yours. If you stay in my room there will be room for Jack in the spare room. Here's the key." Riane said as she rummaged through her purse and tossed Hotchner the keys.

"Good. Now I think we should be going, you look exhausted." J.J said, standing.

Riane's shoulder slumped and she pressed a kiss to Harrison's forehead, clearly not happy about having to be separated from her children. Hotch could understand that; he felt like that most morning when he had to drop Jack off at his sister in-law's.

Slowly, Hotch reached down and gathered the sleeping toddler into his arms who quickly went back to sleep on his shoulder. After she'd said her goodbyes to Nathanael and Atticus they too were lifted off the bed as the team prepared to leave the room.

"I'll take Prentiss and we'll go grab the vans." Rossi said as he motioned to Emily who followed him out of the room after saying goodbye.

"Hey Ryan," Derek said after they'd left the room. "They catch the guy who did this?"

"What? Oh yeah they did. Turned out it was just a mom who'd taken her eyes off the road to get her kids to stop fighting in the back." From her tone, Hotch could tell she was having a hard time concentrating.

"Oh wow. They okay?"

"Kids are. From what I could gather the mom's not doing too well."

"That's too bad."

"Mmm. To put it lightly."

The severity of the situation seemed to affect everyone and after a few moments of idly conversation the rest of the team said their goodbyes and left the room to go meet Rossi and Garcia out front.

Hotch hung back until the rest of his coworkers had left before looking back at Riane.

"Get some rest. We'll come visit tomorrow after we've gotten settled in."

"Thank you." Her response was a choked whisper.

"I'll take care of them," he promised.

She nodded, "I know."

Meeting her gaze, Hotch nodded once more before going to catch up with the rest of the team. Slipping Riane's house keys into his pocket he tried to move as smoothly as possible so as not to wake up Harrison. As he pressed the button in the elevator to take him down to the bottom floor he looked at his reflection in the metal of the elevator doors. He was going to do everything in his power to protect Riane's sons, and keep them happy and safe.

He only hoped that would be enough to get him through what would turn out to be the busiest next few weeks of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. **Originally, I was going to skip ahead a month until Riane got out of the hospital but that would have included skipping Hotch's (and Jack's) adventures with the triplets. So maybe I'll do a chapter or two about that and _then_ time skip a little. Thanks for all the reviews/follows/favourites, you're all amazing. Please read and review, and as always: enjoy.

P.S. What do you guys think of the chapter length? Too long? Too short? Feel free to let me know. To me this chapter felt a little long even though not too much happened but I'll leave that for you to decide.

* * *

By then time Aaron Hotchner unlocked the door to Riane Collin's perfectly quaint bungalow he was exhausted. Not only had he had to swap vehicles with a friend to accommodate four children (he didn't allow Jack to sit in the front) but about half way through that process the triplets had decided they'd had enough of the strange man carting them around the city and had spent the rest of the trip screaming and thrashing in their car seats. In the end when he'd parked in the driveway he'd taken two of the boys (he still hadn't figured out their identities) and allowed Jack to take the other as well as unlock the door so they could all go inside.

"Daddy why are they crying?" Jack asked.

"I think they're probably hungry. Here why don't you put him down on the carpet over there and then go find your room. We'll get Uncle Sean to bring over some of your toys later okay?"

Jack nodded and ran off to go find the spare room and Hotch was glad that for the most part his son was okay with being relocated. Putting the other boys down he pulled open the fridge to see what he could get them in the way of food. Although the fridge contained more than enough meal options he found himself pulling out his phone and calling Riane. His own experiences with Jack at that age taught him that unless he wanted to be cleaning blueberries off the cabinets he'd better find out who ate what.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Hotchner."

"Hi! How's it going?"

He frowned when the crying started up again in the background and looked over to see that two of the boys fighting over one of their toy trucks.

There was a laugh from the end of the line, "That good huh?"

Hotch laughed as he walked over and pulled another almost identical truck out of the bin, offering it to the fighting boys. He was relieved when it was taken and the problem seemed to resolve itself.

"Oh it's not too bad. Hold on one second." Pulling away from the phone he looked to the direction that Jack had headed a few minutes earlier.

"Jack buddy can you come help me for a minute?"

Within seconds he could hear his son running down the hall and satisfied that his son was listening he went back to the phone call.

"Sorry about that."

"Don't be. I feel terrible that you're looking after four kids on your own."

"Yeah well it won't be for long. J.J. promised to take Jack with Henry to the park later and Garcia said she was going to come give me a hand so we'll see how it goes. Anways, I wanted to know if there were any food allergies or intolerances that I should know about."

"Nope. Anything in the fridge should be good. Atticus and Harrison and sometimes picky about bananas but Nathanael will eat anything."

Hotch nodded and looked over at the triplets who were taking an immense liking to Jack.

"Alright, second problem-"

"Which one is which?"

Hotch grinned, "I guess you get that a lot?"

She laughed, "Oh yeah. Okay here's a trick: Nathanael has a spot behind his left ear and Atticus has small scar on his right forearm."

"A scar?"

"Yeah, they were premature so they were fed intravenously for a bit. They said he must have pulled it or something which caused it to shift."

He frowned, "Ouch."

"Let me tell you I was not impressed."

He nodded, "I can imagine. Alright, I'm going to get everyone fed and I'll call you if I need anything else."

"Sure thing. Help yourself to anything. Thanks again for doing this Hotch."

"Stop thanking me. Are they always this quiet?"

He heard a smirk, "Give it an hour."

He chuckled, "Get some rest; I'll talk to you later."

Hanging up the phone he turned his attention to Jack and the triplets, "Jack do you want anything to eat? You had breakfast right?"

"Yupp!" the boy responded. "Aunt Jessica made pancakes!"

Hotch smiled, "That sounds yummy. So you don't want a snack or anything? There's tons of fruit."

When Jack shook his head Hotch handed him the phone. "Here. Called Uncle Sam and ask if he can take you home to grab your toys and clothes and stuff. You and Henry are going to the park later so you have to make sure everything's put away for when they come to get you."

Jack beamed and took the phone, "Okay!"

Running off back down to his temporary room he was obviously happy about being able to call his uncle and arrange everything by himself. Taking a quick look to see that the triplets were okay he turned his attention back to the fridge. Grabbing the milk he found some spaghetti that must have been leftover from the night before last and decided to spare himself some cooking time and heat the remainder of the food.

Heating the spaghetti in the microwave he raided the cupboards and was glad that Riane had put the boy's names on everything. Even the forks had the names printed neatly on them. When the microwave went off he put the food into bowls and made sure to cut the pasta into manageable pieces before getting the boys set up in their highchairs.

When the boys seems satisfied eating – although all three ignored the forks he'd given them – he grabbed a bowl for himself. Although it wasn't even eleven yet he figured it would be better to eat when the boys did instead of leaving it and possibly missing the chance to do so.

As he was putting his bowl in the sink Jack came back out with the phone. "Uncle Sean said he could come in an hour. How long are we going to stay here?"

"I don't know," Hotch answered honestly. "Do you remember agent Riane from my work? She was in an accident last night and needed someone to look after her children until she gets out of the hospital."

Jack nodded, "Is she going to be there for long?"

"Maybe," Hotch answered. "The doctors don't know yet. But I took the next two weeks off work so we can do some stuff during the day so it doesn't get too boring."

Jack smiled, "Okay!"

Hotch returned the smile, "Good because I'm going to need some help. Teamwork right?"

"Teamwork, right." Jack answered giving his father a high-five.

Hotch nodded, "Why don't you go see if there something to watch on t.v.? I'm going to wash some dishes and see maybe if the boys will take a nap."

He'd barely finished the sentence before Jack had run over to the couch and turned the television on. Shaking his head with amusement Hotch turned back around and started to fill the sink with water, adding some soap to get some bubbles. As he was putting the washed dishes into the drying rack he heard a thud followed by a piercing cry.

Jerking around he quickly dried his hands off on the towel before rushing around to the other side of the high chairs to see what was going on. The first thing he noticed was the bowl of spaghetti on the ground, the second was the blood.

"Daddy is he okay?"

Hotch looked over his shoulder to see Jack watching with wide eyes.

"Jack, please go watch t.v. everything is okay."

Turning back towards the screaming baby, he scanned the area where the blood was from while the boy reached for him desperately. After he determined that the damage wasn't too bad he pulled the tray away from the chair and picked the boy up, ignoring the fact that his light blue dress shirt was going to be stained.

"Okay okay. Shhhh….Jack can you watch them while I go into the bathroom? It'll only be for a minute."

After hearing his son's affirmation Hotch headed to the bathroom, the whole while trying to soothe the scared and crying child. When he got into the bathroom he opened drawers until he found a wash cloth and wetted it with warm water, using the cloth to gently wipe away the blood.

"Oh it's not too bad. I bet it hurts though huh? Scared you a little?"

Smiling down at the child he held the cloth against the toddler's forehead. It had been so long since he'd been this close to a crying baby and it really did hurt to see the boy in pain.

Rocking him some more Hotch continued to shush the boy until he calmed down a little, the cries turning into whimpers

"There we go. Feeling a little better?" When the whimpers began to escalate again he cradled the boy closer against his chest and continued to speak to him in a soothing tone.

As he did so he tried to catch a glimpse of the distinguishing features that Riane had told him about, from what he could see there wasn't a spot behind his ear and there didn't appear to be any scars on either arm.

"Harrison?" he queried.

When the boy looked up at him he smiled, "Bingo. Why don't we look and see if mommy has any polysporin?"

The toddler said nothing but tightened his grip on his shirt. Finding the polysporin he put a small dot on his finger before smoothing it over the small gash, being careful not to put too much pressure on the cut. Deciding a bandage would be the best course of action he put that on next before he was satisfied at having dealt with the situation.

When all that was done he couldn't hear any noise coming from the kitchen so he went to go see the boy's bedroom. Although it looked to be a small house from the outside it was actually quite spacious. The inside of the room was painted green, which was accented by the three white cribs and the change table, along with a rocking chair. Above each of the cribs was a name and a picture, and there was a dresser and closet along the wall with the door. As he looked around the room it dawned on him that the boy's room was the only one he'd seen so far that had any colour or pictures in it. Even then there weren't any pictures of her with any of her children anywhere in the house, which was strange to him because Haley had hung tons of pictures of them around the house to document Jack's growth.

Putting the almost sleeping boy down in the bed with the name 'Harrison' above it he returned to the kitchen glad to see that the boys had amused themselves…not so happy to see the mess they'd made doing so. Cleaning up all the dirty bowls and cutlery in the sink he began to regret the decision of not putting bibs on. Wetting a paper towel he began the arduous task of cleaning little hands and faces while trying to avoid flailing limbs.

"You know," he said. "If you ate with the fork I'd given you this wouldn't have been an issue."

"Daddy can they understand you?"

Hotch looked over at his son and laughed, "Probably not. They're too little."

"Then why are you talking to them?"

"I guess it's just in case," he responded as he moved over to clean the other boy. "You should get your shoes on, Uncle Sean should be here any minute."

Jack nodded and hopped off the couch to go get his shoes. Since Haley died Hotch had been so grateful for Sean's help. Of course, he had still been in jail when Haley had been murdered but now that he was out he was a good addition to the family.

When he finished wiping the boy's faces he could tell it was time for a nap, they'd barely been awake to have enough energy to fight him while he wiped their faces and hands. Picking up Atticus – he'd spotted the scar earlier – he took the boy into the bedroom and laid him down in the bed before doing the same with Nathanael. Although the children hadn't been asleep when he'd left the room Hotch doubted they would be awake much longer.

He was just walking into the living room when there was a knock at the door, after looking through the peephole he opened the door to his baby brother with a large smile.

"Sean!"

"Hey big bro-"

"Uncle Sean!" Jack screamed as he tore across the room and into his uncle's arms.

"Hey little man!" Sean replied as he jacked the boy up for a hug before putting him back on the ground. "Ready to go?"

Jack nodded, "Yes."

Sean grinned, "Give me a minute okay? I just want to talk with your dad before we leave."

Jack nodded as Sean ruffled his hair and went back to sit on the couch as Hotch ushered Sean into the kitchen and shut the door.

"So what's going on?" Sean asked.

"It's kind of a long story. A member of my team was injured badly in a car accident so I offered to watch her sons until she gets out."

Sean looked surprised. "Sons?"

Hotch laughed lowly, "Yeah…triplet fourteen month old boys."

Sean whistled, "Wow. Who's the girl?"

Aaron shook his head, "It's not what you think Sean, and she's just a friend and coworker. In fact, we didn't even know she had children until yesterday."

Sean seemed to accept his explanation but shrugged in response. "Alright. So what am I doing?"

"You," Hotch began. "Are going to take Jack home so he can pack a couple of weeks' worth of clothes, his toys and anything like that. Do me a favour though? There's a cooler in the closet, can you just grab all the milk, and cheese and the stuff out of the freezer? I just don't want it to go bad before we go home."

Sean nodded, "Sure. What about all your stuff?"

"J.J.'s going to take Jack to the park and Garcia's coming over so I'll just make a quick run home and grab everything I need then. I took the next two weeks off anyways so it's not a big deal."

Sean grinned, "Good for you. Alright then, I guess we'll get going."

"I really appreciate this Sean."

Sean waved his hand, "Don't even Aaron. We'll be back in about an hour. Jack you ready to go?"

Jacked jumped off the couch and ran to the door. "Yupp! C'mon let's go!"

Both Aaron and Sean laughed.

"Bye Jack." Hotch said to his son who was too caught up in his excitement to remember to say goodbye to his father.

Jack looked back and smiled, "Bye daddy!"

After they'd gone Hotch sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, it was barely past noon but it felt later, and now that he had the house to himself he really didn't know what to do. Washing up what little dishes there were he decided to acquaint himself with the rest of the house; he didn't need to worry about not hearing the boys should they cry because he was always within earshot of the bedroom.

Jack's room was a good size, the bed was the same size as the one he had at home so he wouldn't want for anything out of the bed. Dimly, he recognized that the room was like the rest of the house; the only source of colour was the light blue bed sheets. He wasn't sure how long Riane had lived in the house but it seemed like she hadn't fully moved in yet. Then again, he'd seen her desk in the bullpen and there weren't any pictures there either.

The master bedroom was unsurprisingly like the rest of the house, the walls were white, the sheets of the bed were purple but apart from that there was little else in the room with the exception of the end table and the dresser that was in the far corner of the room. It was strange that Riane lived in a house with so little character, it just didn't seem to fit her sarcastic and sometimes larger than life personality.

From what he could tell of the backyard, it was small but it was large enough for room for the boys to play when they got older. It would certainly amuse Jack who'd missed having a yard to play in since they'd moved out of the house.

After stopping to check and make sure the boys were okay Hotch went back into the living room and sat on the couch. He was…bored. Which hadn't been what he'd been expecting when he'd agreed to watch three toddlers. He wasn't used to having nothing to do, even a slow day at work was more interesting than just sitting around. He briefly considered calling into the office to see how things were going but he knew he'd just get the third degree from Rossi telling him that he needed to relax and enjoy his break.

Glancing over at the high chairs he reasoned that it would be a good idea to call Riane and tell her Harrison had been hurt. It wasn't anything major but as a father he knew that nothing was too small when it came to your children. Dialing the number he put the phone to his ear and waited for an answer.

"Hello?" Riane's voice sounded quiet.

"Did I wake you? Sorry, it's Hotch."

"No, no. My back hurts too much for sleep."

He frowned, "They can't give you anything?"

"They want to wait and see if it worsens. If it does they'll do another scan but I need to be able to feel the pain to keep them in the loop."

"Is it that bad?"

"It just aches."

He nodded, he knew what that felt like. He would be fifty in a couple of years and his body never ceased to remind him of that fact.

"But you did not call to hear about my back. What's up?"

"There was an …incident."

"An incident? What kind of incident? Is everything okay?" Hotch could hear the alarm in her voice.

"Yes everything is fine," he reassured her. "I'm not sure exactly what happened but from I think Nathanael may have thrown a fork at Harrison."

"Oh damn! Hotchner I'm sorry I forgot to mention that Nathanael gets grumpy when Atticus isn't to his right. Don't ask why because I have no idea. I've been trying to break him of it but it's proving harder than I'd originally thought."

Hotch shook his head, "I should be the one apologizing, your trusted me with your sons."

"Oh please Hotchner. How is he?"

"Sleeping now. It wasn't a bad cut, I just put some polysporin and bandage on it. I think it scared him more than anything."

"Thank you."

"You're going to have to stop apologizing. By the way, how long have you lived here?"

"A little over a year. I know it looks terrible but I've had my hands full."

He grinned, "I wasn't going to say that."

"Believe me you would not be the first."

When Hotch heard a cry in the background he looked over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom, hoping it was nothing and that whoever it was would go back to sleep.

"Hey Hotch?"

"Yeah?"

"When Jack was their age did you go all new age parent and let him cry it out sometimes?"

He shrugged, "Sometimes. He went through a bad stage where he stopped sleeping through the night."

"Let me give you a tip." Hotch could almost hear her grinning. "That's not a good idea, with three kids. Call me back later. You're going to need both hands."

As soon as he'd hung up the phone the crying turned into full on screaming. When he got into the room he picked up Atticus and noticed that the boy was sweating.

Hotch frowned, "It's a little hot in here isn't it huh little guy?"

Opening the window proved harder than it should have while trying to control a crying child, he just wanted to get out of the room before either of the other two woke up. In the hallway he paced back and forth as he rocked the boy. The crying had quietened down because of the difference in temperatures in the two rooms but Atticus was staring up at him in a way that made Hotch think that he wouldn't be going back to sleep just yet.

Just as he was about to drop off, Hotch heard a door shut and hurried over to unlock the door so Sean and Jack could get in. No sooner had he done so that Jack came running through with his suitcase on wheels.

"Dad, Dad! Look at all we brought!" Jack yelled, too excited to speak normally.

When Atticus stirred in his arm Hotch tried to get his son to settle down, "Jack the boys are sleeping."

"Oh…sorry Dad."

"It's alright. Did you get plenty of toys and clothes and everything else you needed?"

Jack nodded, "Yes. I got my toothbrush and my pillow…Oh! And I grabbed _Percy Jackson And The Lightening Thief _so we can still read at night."

Hotch smiled, "That's great buddy. I'll look forward to that. Why don't you go put your stuff in your room and get settled?"

Jack smiled and nodded, "Okay!"

Hotch chuckled and shook his head, he was glad that Jack was as interested in something as simple as them reading a book together. He always felt bad because work took him away so often that he was happy to spend some time with his son, even if it was just for an hour or so before bed.

Turning back, he saw that Sean was standing in the doorway watching him with a grin that put Hotch in mind of the Cheshire cat.

"What?" he asked.

Sean shrugged, "Oh nothing. It's just not every day I get to see you in "Daddy Hotchner" mode."

Hotch rolled his eyes, "Whatever Sean. How's work going?"

Sean rolled right over his question as he closed the door and walked over. "So this is one of the triplets huh? Cute kid."

Hotch looked down at Atticus who'd gone back to sleep at some point. "Yeah. So far I've gotten off easy. I'm kind of dreading what comes after the nap."

Sean waved his hand dismissively, "You did fine with Jack."

"Yeah but I had Hayley and Jessica, and this time there's three."

Sean laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "If anyone can do it, it would be you SSA Hotchner. Anyways, I gotta run, talk to you later?"

Aaron nodded, "Sure thing. Thanks again Sean,"

Sean winked at him once more before he left. There was almost a twenty years difference between the two and it made Sean seem so much younger than he was. Sometimes it was nice to see his brother's youth, it reminded him of all the things he'd done when he was young.

Putting Atticus back in his bed Hotch went to help his son get everything set up, although his son liked to be independent Hotch would rather help him out then let him so it all on his own.

"Jack, you alright?"

"Yes Daddy. Look!"

The room looked like a mess. There were toys and things everywhere but Hotch could see that Jack had been busy putting all his clothes away in the dresser.

Hotch smiled, "Great job Jack. Do you want some help with the rest?"

Jack smiled, "Yes please."

Hotch nodded and sat on the floor next to his son and helped him to sort out his toys. There was still stuff to be put in the fridge but it could wait for a half hour while he did this with his son. Besides that, Hotch had the feeling that after naptime things were going to get very hectic very quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N. **It came to my attention that I spelled Haley Hotchner's name wrong a couple of times throughout the story. I'm trying to spot and fix them but if you do see an example please let me know so I can fix it. I'm not sure if this will be the last chapter of Hotch's adventures in domesticity or not so we'll have to play that one by ear. Please read and review, I love hearing what you think. And as always, enjoy.

P.S. Next chapter will see more of the team and some secrets will be revealed! Stay tuned! And a big fan freak-out at the fact that filming for season 9 is under way!

* * *

Aaron hadn't been willing to admit that he'd forgotten how to change a diaper until he came face to face with three. It wasn't like he could complain seeing as the boys had slept for three hours which had given him plenty of time to spend with Jack even if the majority of that time had been spent tidying his room and watching _The Avengers_ on Dvd.

"Okay let's see what we're dealing with here…" Hotch said as he picked Atticus up out of his crib. Despite the fact that he'd opened the window and kept the door open the room was still the hottest in the house.

Putting the fussy baby down on the change table he pulled out a clean diaper, the wipes, and some _Penaten_ before he even began to take the diaper off the child. He remembered enough from when Jack was young to know to keep everything that was important covered in case the boy decided he wasn't quite done. By the time he was finished changing the last boy he'd almost gotten back into the rhythm he'd had almost five years earlier. Putting some clean pants on the boys (he'd decided to forgo the shirts, they were hot enough already) he made the two trips necessary to get everyone into the living room.

"What did I miss?" Hotch asked as he took a seat on the couch next to his son. The room was set up in such a way that he could still sit on the couch, watch television and have the boys in his peripheral vision.

"The Hulk just beat up Loki."

"Aww…that's my favorite part."

"Do you want me to rewind it?" Jack asked.

Hotch shook his head, "No. Keep going, we can always watch it again."

As Jack watched the movie Hotch went to go get something for the toddlers to drink, they hadn't had anything since lunch and he hadn't found any bottles to give them for a nap so obviously Riane had weaned them off bottles. Filling three cups with water he put them down on the coffee table in case anyone got thirsty. However, from what Hotch could see the three were perfectly happy to alternate between playing and watching what was happening on the screen.

He must have been paying too much attention to the television because the next time he looked down was because there was a hand on his knee.

He grinned, "Mastered the art of walking yet?"

The toddler stuck his fist in his mouth before waving it at Hotch and cooing animatedly, trying to explain something Hotch couldn't understand. Handing the boy the appropriate cup – he was able to identify each because of the different coloured pants he'd dressed them in – he chuckled when the boy gave him a toothy smile.

"I wonder how good you are at brushing those teeth," Hotch murmured as he brushed Atticus's bangs from his eyes.

"Dad the movie's over." Jack stated.

Hotch grabbed the remote and stopped the movie, standing he went and put the disk back in its case setting it down on the table.

"Well Jack…what do you want to do now?" Hotch asked.

Jack scratched his head, "When am I going to the park?"

Hotch picked up one of the boys who'd been making his way down the hallway on hands and knees before looking at his watch. "Probably not for at least another hour. Do you want to eat before you go?"

Jack nodded, "Yes please."

Hotch nodded and tried to control the boy who was trying very valiantly to get out of his arms. "Why don't we go see what's in the fridge?"

Putting the boy back on the floor Hotch went over to help his son pick out things for dinner. Opening the freezer above his son's head he dug out the package of chicken nuggets that Sean had brought back with Jack.

"Well?" Hotch asked showing his son the bag.

Jack gave him a thumbs up, "Yes please."

Hotch nodded and let Jack get started on putting the food on the oven trays while he tried to piece together the rest of the meal. Making dinner with his son was something that he didn't get to do as often as he would have liked but something he always enjoyed.

* * *

Riane Collins was tired, in pain, and bored which was never a good combination.

The anxiety didn't help either.

She hadn't been expecting any visitors until David Rossi had walked in. It was later in the evening and she wasn't even sure if it was still during visiting hours.

"Hey," Rossi said drawing out the word. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay…don't look at me like that Rossi yes I'm in pain and I'm tired but all things considered I am okay."

Sitting in the chair next to her bed Rossi out his left ankle and his right knee and relaxed into the plastic. Riane had always wondered how Rossi managed to look so cool and composed no matter what situation he found himself in.

"What's in the bag?" Riane asked, gesturing to the white plastic bag he'd brought with him.

"Oh," he said, lifting it up for her to see. "I've spent my fair share of time in here to know the food sucks."

"Rossi you didn't"

He chuckled but said nothing as he handed her the Tupperware container of homemade macaroni and cheese.

Riane beamed, "Rossi I love you."

He smiled and clasped her hand when she offered it to him. "Now all you have to do is get better."

She nodded enthusiastically as she dug into the food, "I will don't you worry…dear God Rossi this is delicious."

He grinned, "Of course it is. I made it."

"Mmmm. Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Riane ate. Although the two weren't best of friends they definitely got along and Riane had always been a fan of his books. Being the rookie to the team it made her feel better to have people like Hotch and Rossi as her superiors, even Morgan, Prentiss, Reid and J.J. were veterans in her eyes.

"You know," she started. "You didn't have to come visit me. I'm sure there's something better you could be doing."

"That depends on your definition of better."

She nodded as she finished off the remainder of the food and closed the container. "I would offer to wash this…"

Rossi shook his head and took the container back from her. "Don't worry about it."

"I'll owe you one."

"I'm not keeping score."

"I am. It'll go to the bottom of reasons for why I'm indebted to you and the team."

Rossi smirked, "You're not indebted to us. You're just feeling guilty right now."

Riane rubbed the bridge of her nose with her good hand. "I have every reason to feel guilty. Looking back on it now I just feel so stupid for hiding it from you guys."

"So why did you?"

She shrugged, "I don't know really…I guess I just wanted to protect them. I'm a single mom who leaves her fourteen month old sons with a teenage babysitter for days on end sometimes. I guess I just wanted them to be safe when I'm away."

"You know," Rossi began. "You might be single but you don't have to be alone Riane. Me, Hotch, the team…we're here to help you in any way we can."

"I know, I know. Believe me, if there's anything I've come to realize over these past six months it's that you guys are a family."

"You're talking like you don't think you're a part of that family."

"I think I may have to do a little recompensing to get back into the family."

Rossi smiled, "Just be straight with them, they're good people."

Riane nodded, "That they are."

Relaxing into the bed Riane smoothed her bed sheets for the umpteenth time that day. She hadn't heard from Hotch since she'd last talked to him on the phone and that had been just after noon.

She frowned, "I don't know if I can do this Rossi."

"Do what?" he asked.

"Be away from my kids. I know it's stupid because I'm in the hospital and it's not that I don't trust Hotch because I do…but I've never left them for so long before. A month? They grow so fast, I'm going to miss a lot and I already miss them so much."

"I'm sure Hotch will bring them by to visit."

Riane smirked, "Every day? No offense Rossi but you have no idea what it's like to try and get three kids fed, dressed, and out the door. And he still needs to spend time with Jack, the last thing I want is for Hotch to have two weeks off and be too run down to bond with his son."

Rossi nodded, "Riane, let Hotch do what he's going to. You and I both know we won't be able to stop him."

She nodded and massaged her temple, smiling ruefully. "Rossi I'm sorry. I know the last thing you probably wanted to do was come here and listen to me vent…I can't imagine I'm good company."

He patted her hand. "Don't even go there Riane. It's good to hear you open up, you've been closed off to us for the last six months and even though you had a good reason it's good to know that we'll be able to help you a little more now that this is out in the open."

She grinned, "What would I ever do without you?"

"Oh I don't know… fall into complete disarray?"

She threw her head back and laughed before wincing, "Oh that did not tickle. Thanks for stopping by Rossi, don't work too hard."

He smirked, "Tell the rest of America to behave."

After he'd gone Riane looked at the clock. His visit had lasted just over an hour and it was almost about the time where it would be socially acceptable for her to go to sleep for the night. Pulling out her phone (which she'd promised the nurse to only use in emergencies) she browsed through the pictures. There had to be hundreds of pictures of her boys over the past fourteen months, most of the pictures she didn't remember taking. With three children there was a lot she didn't remember, mostly because of the lack of sleep. Her job didn't help that either; there are nights when she went home and wanted to do nothing more than hug all of her children until she could reassure herself that they were safe and sound. Now that she was in the hospital she had no way of doing so, she had to trust that Aaron Hotchner was doing the best he could by her children and although she hadn't been lying when she'd said that she trusted the man. She still wasn't comforted when anyone other than herself was with them. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and tried to get some sleep, the sooner she got better, the sooner she could get back to her children.

* * *

Aaron Hotchner poured himself his second cup of coffee of the morning. To say that he was tired was an understatement of gross proportion. It was barely past eight in the morning and already two out of three triplets were up…just as they had been for the majority of the night. Not only had he had to figure out how to rock two children back to sleep at the same time but he'd had to do so while trying not to wake Nathanael (the only one who'd slept) as well as Jack. The last thing he needed was to have to deal with a grumpy six year old.

Yawning and running a hand through his hair Hotch finished the cup of coffee and set the mug in the sink. He'd yet to get anyone dressed because he didn't want to disturb the fragile peace that had seemed to settle over the house. About a half an hour later he found himself sitting on the couch with Harrison asleep sitting in his lap and Atticus asleep on the play mat when Jack walked into the room.

"Morning Jack."

Jack rubbed his eye and sat down on the couch next to him. "Morning Daddy."

"Did you have a good sleep?"

The boy nodded, "Mommy came to check on me."

Hotch couldn't help but feel his throat constrict. It has been a little over a year since Haley had died and since then Jack had told him that he'd dreamed of his mother more than once. Unable to think of anything else Hotch had told him that whenever he dreamt of Haley it was just mommy coming to check on him and make sure he was okay.

"That's good buddy." Hotch said as he rubbed his son's head. "Are you hungry?"

Jack nodded.

Hotch smiled, "What do you want for breakfast?"

Making a face Jack took a moment to think his options over, "I think…an omelet!"

"With cheese?" Hotch asked.

Jack beamed, "Yes please!"

Hotch nodded and let Jack get all the ingredients while he got all the utensils they would need. It had taken some getting used to but Hotch had final figured out how Riane organized her kitchen; and although he didn't particularly like it, it was highly efficient. As he was serving the meal he heard his phone buzz on the table notifying him of a text message. For a moment he stared at it, if he got called into work what would he do? Sure Jack could go to Jessica's but he wouldn't know what to do with Riane's sons, he hadn't even met the babysitter.

Making sure that Jack had everything he needed Hotch went and got his phone. Releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding he opened the text from Riane.

_Morning! How was last night? Hope they didn't wake you up too many times._

Hotch couldn't help but smirk, the woman obviously knew her children well. Hitting the reply button he typed a quick message.

_Good morning. Last night was OK, they woke up a few times but it was nothing I couldn't handle. I think they miss you, how does an 11:00 visit sound?_

The acceptance came within seconds and Hotch couldn't help but chuckle, he knew what it was like to miss your child but Riane's reaction was more like that of a child being offered candy than a mother about to be reunited with her children.

From what he could see Atticus and Harrison were still sound asleep on the couch, which was fine seeing they'd been up for a couple of hours the previous night. He hadn't heard a sound from Nathanael but yesterday had probably been a stressful day for them so he wasn't about to go wake anyone up. As long as he got some breakfast into them and a change of clothes they could sleep while he got ready, ate, and packed a bag.

"Jack, I'm going to take the boys so see their mom in the hospital at eleven. We'll only be there for probably an hour and then we'll go to lunch and find something to do this afternoon okay?"

"Can we go to the water park?" Jack asked.

"We'll see what the weather's like. If it's hot we can go. After you finish go get dressed and grab some toys to take to the hospital so you don't get bored okay?"

Jack nodded and put his plate in the sink, "Okay daddy."

When Jack went to go get dressed Hotch started on his own breakfast. Making himself an omelet and some toast, he poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat down to eat. As much as he wanted to shower he doubted that all three of the boys would sleep through it and he didn't want Jack to have to deal with that. He'd gone home last night so he had everything that was essential and it wasn't like he couldn't shower later on when the boys took a nap if they weren't at the park.

After he finished Hotch decided he'd better go get something more appropriate to wear than just his boxers and a tank top. Grabbing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt he quickly pulled them on and went into the bathroom to shave, brush his teeth, and comb his hair. When he was ready twenty minutes later he made his bed and stopped by the nursery to check on Nathanael. Walking into the room he came upon a very dozy toddler standing in the crib and watching him.

Planting his hands on his hips Hotch tilted his head. "You know, you could have called and I would have come and got you."

His remark earned his a smile which Hotch took as the green flag he needed to pick the boy up and change him. When he got back to the kitchen Atticus and Harrison were on the couch watching the television with Jack which gave his ample to time to set Nathanael in his high chair and locate the rice cereal. Getting everyone fed took longer than he'd anticipated and in the end he'd had to step in and lend a hand. After that it took another half an hour to get everyone dressed only because there seemed to be a lot of things the triplets preferred doing as opposed to letting Hotch get them into their jeans and _Sesame Street_-themed shirts.

Packing the bag and locating the triplet stroller took another half an hour and by the time he was done it was hard to believe that they were only just beginning the day. Pulling Nathanael off the coffee table he put the whining child down on the play mat before going out to the car to grab the car seats. They were detachable from the base and from what he could tell fit into the stroller which was the best things about the morning so far. Bringing them inside he had to all but wrestle the boys into the seats, their dislike for the contraption plainly obvious from the crying and struggling.

"Jack are you ready to go?" Hotch called.

Jack came down the hall with a few action figures. "What about my swim stuff?" He asked.

"We'll come back for it. I didn't back their stuff either. When we come back for lunch okay?"

Jack smiled, "Can we have a picnic?"

Hotch nodded, smiling slowly. "That's a great idea Jack."

Giving his son a quick hug and a kiss, he got everyone outside and locked the door before getting everyone settled into the van. The trip to the hospital took around twenty minutes and Hotch was glad that the boys had settled down, it made it easier to get the stroller set up and get to the room.

When they got to the room Riane was sleeping, which was quickly fixed by shouting and words that almost resembled 'mommy'. Despite that Riane woke slowly and Hotch almost felt bad because of how tired and uncomfortable she looked. As Jack took a seat in the wingback chair in the corner Hotch worked on getting the three boys out of their restraints before they were kicked out because of all the noise.

Closing the door Hotch sat in the other chair, "Jack can you say hello to Ms. Collins?"

Jack looked up from his toys and smiled, "Hi."

Riane returned the smile, "Hi Jack."

Boosting Harrison onto the bed so he could be with his mother Hotch tried to be careful of the IV.

"When did they put that in?" he asked as he got out some of the toys he'd brought and gave them to Nathanael and Atticus.

She sighed and wrapped her good arm around her son, kissing his forehead. "This moning, it's just easier than trying to eat. My back hurts too much."

He frowned, "Did they find out the problem?"

"They think it might be a compressed disk but they're not sure. I have another surgery the day after tomorrow and they're gonna take a look."

Hotch nodded, "Well if you need anything just let me know."

"Aaron Hotchner _you _will never have to do anything for me ever again. None of you will."

Hotch smirked and helped Harrison off the bed to join his brothers. "You know we'll help you in any way you need."

"Yes," she nodded. "I do. Especially after Rossi came all the way up here last night to bring me dinner."

"Did he cook?"

"It was _amazing._"

Hotch chuckled, "He gave us a cooking lesson once."

She smiled, "If I could cook like he could I would never leave my house."

Before she could answer, fighting erupted between the triplets over what Hotch could only guess was one of the toys he'd brought. Instinctually, Riane went to sit forward to get to her sons but stopped suddenly, clutching her chest. Immediately Hotch reached for her, trying to get her to lie back.

"Riane? Tell me what's wrong."

"My chest…I can't…I can't…breathe." Her words came out between gasps and Hotch could tell she was on the verge of hyperventilating.

Pushing the call button for a nurse Hotch tried to get her to calm down a little, which was difficult given the fact that the boys had begun to cry in response to the commotion.

"Okay, okay. Riane look at me. It's okay. Just breathe, breathe with me alright? In…out…in…out." Hotch tried to get her to breathe in tandem with him but her skin was already starting to discolour and he knew she needed immediate help.

"Jack can you open the door please?" Hotch asked without taking his eyes off Riane.

"Daddy…"

Looking over his shoulder, Hotch met the gaze of his panic-stricken son. Trying to be as calm as he could he tried again.

"Jack, everything is okay. We just need to open the door so the doctors can get in okay? Everything is fine."

Hotch felt a swell of pride for his son when he finally opened the door. No sooner had he done so there was a nurse in the room who took one look as the scene before yelling orders down the hall and ushering everyone out of the room. Scooping up all three boys in an awkward almost-hug type embrace he got them into the hallways before grabbing the stroller. It took ten minutes of rocking and soothing to get the boys calm again and after he had done so he buckled them back into the stroller.

Turning his attention to Jack he knelt in front of the six year old. Jack had been quiet the whole time which was a red flag for Hotch telling him that his son was having a hard time dealing with the situation. Smothering his hair down, Hotch pulled his son into a hug which was returned in a heartbeat. Sitting on one of the waiting chairs, he held his son in his lap and sat there for a moment before pulling back.

"That was a little bit scary huh?" Hotch asked.

Jack nodded slowly but said nothing.

"She going to be okay you know," Hotch said, trying to get his son to look at him. "The doctors here are really smart. They're going to help here like they helped me remember?"

Jack looked up at him, "Promise?"

Hotch kissed his son's forehead and smiled, "Promise. Do you still want to go to the water park?"

"Yes please."

Hotch smiled and stood his son up before grabbing the stroller and heading for the elevator.

"Alright Jack…but I'm just letting you know that you're going to lose the water gun fight."

Jack laughed and shook his head vicariously, "Nu-uh! I'm gonna win!"

Hotch laughed as he and Jack continued their banter on the way to the vehicle. He was still worried about Riane but he knew she was in capable hands, what he needed to focus on now was helping his son get the most out of his summer.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. **Well, welcome to this chapter that I wasn't supposed to write until late this week. This chapter is going to give us some background on Riane but it's also going to go to the dark side a little bit. There are reference to rape in this chapter. **If this is going to bother you please do not continue reading. **The last thing I want is to upset anyone. Derek fans may be happy because he is heavily featured in this chapter. Please read and review, and as always…enjoy.

* * *

Spencer Reid was on a mission as he all but ran through the FBI headquarters trying to get to the bullpen before they had to get into their next case.

"Woah there pretty boy, what's wrong?"

Spender glanced over at Derek Morgan who was doing some overdue paperwork before the day started. Walking up to the desk her put down the file he'd been carrying.

"Riane's from Iowa right?"

"What?" Derek asked.

"Riane…she's from Iowa right?"

"Yeah," Emily spoke up from her desk, the conversation between her two coworkers having piqued her curiosity. "She mentioned once that she's from Palo Alto, she worked for the police department there when she first started as a cop. It's in the-"

"Northwest. Yeah I know. But did you know that nearly two years ago there was an active serial rapist in Palo Alto? His name was Silas Donovan, he managed to commit five acts of rape between the months of July and November 2011."

"One a month?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. He was arrested at the end of November and convicted of all five counts."

"So what?" Emily asked.

"So I remember seeing it on the news and obviously I never thought about it. That is until a couple of days ago. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, but how could I? I'd never seen them before…it makes so much sense know."

"Reid, unless the next sentence that comes out of your mouth is an explanation-"

Spencer opened up the file folder, "Look."

Derek and Emily – who'd since moved over to Derek's desk – leaned over to get a look at the photo.

"No way," Emily gasped.

Derek ran a hand over his head but said nothing, the hard look on his face said everything he wasn't.

Silas Donovan was not an attractive man. In fact, he was rather ordinary looking; a white male, thirty-five, no facial hair, his pale complexion almost sickly. What stood out immediately was the auburn hair and dark eyes, distinctive features that they'd seen on a couple of occasions over the past few days.

"Reid…are you sure?" Emily asked.

"Well no," he replied. "There's no way for me to be sure without using the FBI database to look into the case, this is just what I could find at home last night. I couldn't even get the victim's names. But I do know that he was identified shortly after the first rape because of the DNA left on scene, it just took them time to catch him."

Derek snorted, "Yeah. And in that time he raped four more women."

"So what now?" Emily asked. "I mean, what do we do with this information?"

"Nothing." Derek said. When both Spencer and Emily gave him incredulous looks he continued, "Guys you don't know what it's like. I didn't tell anyone for almost twenty years, this thing - if it even happened – was less than two years ago. We can't just go barging in there and demanding explanations, we just need to give her some time."

Spencer nodded slowly, "Do you think Hotch knows?"

"I don't think too many people outside of Palo Alto know kid."

Spencer sighed and took a seat at his desk. Emily and Derek seemed just as devastated as he felt. It seemed to all fall into place now that they had the missing piece of the puzzle; it made sense why she never hung out with them after work and why he'd never seen her even have a glass of wine. Why she always seemed to keep her distance from himself, Derek, Hotch and Rossi and why she never talked about herself. Hell, it even made the fact that she never slept on the plane make sense: her ability to trust had been severely damaged, and they hadn't even guessed as to why. They only had a few minutes of silence before J.J. came into the bullpen.

"Guys we have a…woah," she said when she saw them. "What's going on?"

Wordlessly, Derek held out the folder for her to take which she did with a confused expression. The confusion turned to shock when she opened the folder and got a good look at the picture.

"Oh…my God." She said, her shock echoed through her voice.

Rossi appeared behind J.J., looking almost sick as he looked at the picture.

"Do we know this for sure…?" He asked hesitantly.

Derek shook his head, "Reid dug this up last night. Truth is we don't know anything for sure."

"I'm not even sure if I want to know." J.J. said.

"Amen to that," Emily tacked on.

Closing the folder, J.J. put it on Reid's desk and took a moment to regain her composure. "We have a new case. Briefing room in ten."

They all acknowledged her and reluctantly went up to the BAU room, where they would undoubtedly be forced to face another case that would hit home just a little too closely. But they would do their job.

They always did.

* * *

Four days later it was safe to say that the team was beyond exhausted when their plane landed shortly after 3 pm. Although they'd gotten some sleep on the way back it didn't make up for the lack of sleep they'd all suffered from while working the case. They hadn't had too much time to sleep when their killer had been a male with a severe case of unmedicated OCD who killed like clock work every four hours. To make matters worse he'd had a major cleaning obsession and compulsion that had made finding DNA evidence harder than normal. In the end it had been the guy's dream journal that had betrayed him, it had taken Reid a while to decode the true messages behind the man's dreams but when he had it had led the team straight to the guy.

When they got back into the office they were promptly given the rest of the day off which was more than enough for Derek Morgan. When he got home, he changed, showered, got something to eat and made sure Clooney was fed and watered. Groaning, he collapsed onto the couch two hours later, flicking through the channels aimlessly, preoccupied with his thoughts. He couldn't help but think about Riane, he knew better than most about what she might be going through, but he couldn't imagine what it was like to see the face of your rapist in your children everyday.

When he could no longer tolerate doing nothing Derek pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he saw Riane's name.

_Hey pretty lady, feelling lonely w/o me yet?_

He grinned when he hit the send button, despite everything Riane may have gone through she openly flirted with him (although it was purely platonic and no where near Penelope's flirt levels), and was one of his best friends. He phone vibrated in his lap a few minutes later and he opened up the message.

_I know my bed is cold without you my beloved black Adonis._

He laughed and sent a quick '_Be there in 20' _as a reply before locking up, jumping into his vehicle and heading to the hospital. It was nearly six before he got there but he was sure he'd be able to get in somehow. None of the nurses would be able to resist charm – not to mention that fact that if he said he worked for the FBI he'd be let through in a cinch.

When Derek got to Riane's room he was a little taken aback by the way she looked. She was pale and he could tell she'd lost weight and if the circles under her eyes were anything they were a testament to the lack of sleep she was getting. Taking a deep breath he walked into the room with a grin.

"Hey you," he said.

She smiled, "Hey Morgan. How are you? I heard you guys just got back."

"You've been talking to Hotch too much."

She shruged, "He worries. You know what he's like."

He nodded and pulled up a chair. "Yeah. I'm good though. What about you?"

She waggled her eyebrows, "Look." She tried to lift her left arm but only managed to get it a couple of inches off the bed. "Okay, no, ow that hurt. _But _it's gotten better since the surgery a couple of days ago. Doc says I might be out in the next two weeks."

He beamed, "Awesome Ryan! What about work?"

She made a face, "I wish. Might be another couple of months after that, and that's only if I manage not to poke another hole in one of my lungs."

When Derek quirked an eyebrow she continued, "Hotch brought my boys in. They got into it and I went into 'mom mode'. Oh don't give me that look."

Derek laughed, "Sorry. It's just so weird so hear you talk like that, it's still so surreal to believe that you've got three boys."

She smirked, "You're preaching to the choir. I still don't believe it."

"Yeah, yeah. I get that. Hey…why did you leave Iowa to come here? I mean small town full of people you've known all your life, why leave that?"

Derek sensed her hesitation as she started to crack her knuckles. He felt bad for witholding the fact that he knew what could possibly be her biggest secret. He didn't want to be blunt about this because he didn't want her to shut down, he wouldn't get anywhere if that happened.

She exhaled slowly, "I uh…I had to stay in Palo Alto for a couple of months after I got pregnant, I actually didn't come here until halfway through my second trimester. Don't get me wrong, Palo Alto was great but I knew that I wouldn't be able to support one child let alone three on my salary. Plus, a government job meant medical and dental that I already know I'm going to need. It seemed like a no brainer."

"Second trimester?" He asked. "Didn't you have those kids at like seven months?"

Riane nodded quickly, "Yeah don't remind me. Obviously I had to have a C-section, but they wanted to wait until at least half way through my eighth month. Weirdest thing ever let me tell you."

He held up a hand, "That's alright."

She laughed which quickly turned into a wince, "I cannot wait for that to go away."

"I hear ya…"

She arched an eyebrow, "Are you okay? No one got hurt on the case right?"

He shook his head, "No. It's nothing like that…"

She sighed, "Come on then out with it. You might as well, it can't be anything as bad as what I can imagine bearing in mind that as a mom I can imagine quite a lot."

"Silas Donovan."

She froze. "Excuse me?"

He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Reid recognized him after seeing your boys-"

"I don't understand. No, I _don't _understand."

"Listen, Riane-"

She shook her head, "No Derek. _You_ listen. You had no right to go into my life like that! Not you, or Reid, or anyone…how could you?"

The betrayal and hurt in her voice was unmistakable and it made his chest ache. "Riane it wasn't like that."

"Like hell it wasn't! I should have never said anything. I should have just not told anyone."

"Yeah? Then what? Just leave your kids at the sitter's? What would have happened to them then huh?"

Her fists balled at her sides, "Don't you dare. I have given up everything for those children! Do you think it's easy? I'm a single mom with three kids who's lived in this city for all of ten seconds. And if I had to I would do it all over again. Because I love them. Did you hear me? I. Love. Them. More than you can even imagine. So don't you dare come in here and atack my loyalty to my children."

She was so angry she was breathing heavily, almost shaking from what Derek could only imagine was a mixture of angry, betrayal, shock, and fear.

He sighed, "I'm not attacking you Riane…"

"I love them," she sounded almost broken.

"I know."

"They look so much like him. Oh God."

Trying to offer some comfort, he put a hand on her arm. He regretted it as soon as he did from the way she flinched. She was pale, and he could tell that wherever her find was, it wasn't in the room with him. He understod most of the emotions she was feeling, especially the betrayal at having the past dug up without your permission. He was sure that had they not been in the hospital, the conversation would have gone sideways very quickly.

"Riane?" He asked, trying to keep his voice as low and comforting as possible.

"How could I have been so stupid?" She breathed. "I was working that case…I shouldn't have…why did I do that?"

Derek felt like hell as he watched her relive her own personal hell. He wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about but he knew that he just had to let her talk.

She shook her head, "God I thought I was so much bigger than he was. I thought I was going to catch him, and give peace to the four women. I was so stupid…oh God." She covered her mouth with her hand, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

Derek carefully took her hand in his, "You can't blame yourself."

She laughed harshly and thumbed the tears away. "I went jogging with my headphones on Derek. What the hell kind of rookie mistake is that?"

He gave her a stern look, "There was no way you could have known."

She snorted. "Oh come on. I'd been watching the guy for four months. I knew almost everything about him…and yet that morning I got up, put my headphones in, and went jogging on some barely known dirt path. I'd been working in Palo Alto for so long…I felt invincible. Guess not huh?" She looked up at him sadly.

He tapped her hand with one long finger, "He was a serial rapist Riane, and from the sounds of it a sadistic one. But you got him. That's what matters."

"Everyone keeps saying that but it _really_ doesn't make me feel better."

Leaning back in his chair Derek rubbed the side of his neck. "Didn't make me feel better either?"

Her head shot to the side, the shock and surprise evident on her face, "What?"

He smiled ruefully and nodded, "Yupp. Me too."

The horror seemed to slowly seep over her features and she shook her head. "No."

"Yes."

"Derek…"

The seriousness of his expression stopped her from saying anything more, "It was a long time ago. I was just a kid…he ran the local youth centre. Carl Buford."

"That's a sin."

"I didn't tell anyone for the better part of to decades. He continued to hurt children for almost twenty years before I put him away. Even though I know he'll never get out…doesn't make me feel better, doesn't make me feel like a hero. You're not alone Riane."

Her eyes were watering all over again and she tried to wipe them away. "God, I'm leaking."

"Do you blame me?" He asked suddenly.

"_What?! _Derek what the hell? Of course not!"

"Well I don't blame you either. So I guess we're even."

She smiled lightly, "Thanks Derek."

He winked, "Anytime pretty lady."

There was a few moments of silence before Riane spoke agan, "So Reid saw him in my boys huh?"

Derek nodded, "Yeah. The resemblance is…"

"Terrifying?"

"I wouldn't say that."

She shrugged, looking at her hands, "A lot of people do. After they were born I was so glad I'd come here. I can't imagine what their life would have been like had I stayed, everyone recognizing them…I didn't want that for them."

He nodded, "I get that. You did what was best for your kids."

"I miss them."

He frowned, "When was the last time Hotch was here?"

"A couple of days ago, before my surgery. I told him not to, it wasn't worth it with the back issue, the collapsed lung, and then the surgery."

Derek nodded, "I guess there's no fun in that. How's he doing with them?"

She grinned, "He's not sleeping I can tell you that much. As far as I know he's doing okay, he's spending time with Jack and he's helping me out. Two birds one stone type thing."

He chuckled, "Hotch'll pull through. He's been through a lot worse."

"A lot worse than triplet toddlers? Tell him that the next time you see him I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"It can't be that bad."

Riane's eyebrows shot up into her hairline, "I'll remember that the next time I need a babysitter."

The next half an hour was spent talking about nothing, which was a blessing for the both of them given the seriousness and intensity of their earlier conversation. There was still a lot that went unsaid between the two but neither pretended like it would be the last time they spoke of the issue. Derek was certain they would have a lot more to talk about in the months and years to come, especially as Riane's kids got older. Derek wasn't about to let her go through everything alone if he could do anything about it.

"Did uh…did you guy tell Hotch?" She asked.

Derek shook his head, "Naw. That's between you and him."

"But everyone else knows?"

"Sorry kid."

"No, no." She waved her hand but there was no convction behind her voice. "That's fine. I just…I don't know what or how I'm going to tell him. Now that everyone knows I feel like I'm lying to him, especially with everything he's doing for me."

"You know Hotch isn't like that."

That was the problem. Riane knew that he wasn't going to be mad at her, annoyed perhaps, but not mad.

"I don't want to let it sit…"

"Riane there's no rush. You know no one's going to tell him. They wouldn't do that to you."

Her throat was getting tight again, "I don't deserve you guys," she managed to get out.

"Don't do that to yourself. Relax, get better and then figure out how you want to deal with Hotch. If you need me I'm just phone call away. Always."

The sincerity in her eyes made her want to do anything to bring some levity to the situation. She couldn't deal with the kindess he was showing her, kindness she hadn't seen for most of her adult life.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You gonna be okay?" He asked, his brows were knit together with worry.

She rubbed her forehead, "Yeah. I will be."

Derek looked at his phone when it vibrated, a slow grin spreading over his face as he read the message.

"Garcia." He explained.

Riane chuckled, "Go."

"You sure."

"Very. Go while you can still salvage some of our right."

He threaded his fingers through hers and gave her hand one last squeeze before saying his goodbyes and leaving. When he was gone Riane sighed and sank into the bedding. She was physically tired but emotionally exhausted, given all the time in the world she would not have guessed the reason for why Derek had come to visit her. She also imagined that she would be getting some more visits in the next coming days; which was going to be hard and wasn't something she was loking forward to.

Playing with her phone Riane tried to summon up the courage to text Hotch. As intimidating as the man was she'd come to find that nothing made her feel calmer than a conversation with him, whether it be through messaging or a call. Deciding on a text she typed quickly and hit send.

_How'd dinner go?_

The response came back almost ten minutes later. Opening it up she beamed at the picture of Jack helping Harrison with a spoonfull of peas.

_I'm keeping that picture you know. _She replied.

_Me too._ Came Hotch's answer.

She just been drifting off when her phone vibrated again. Reaching blindly for it she opened up the message and squinted against the harsh light.

_They miss you. _It was from Hotch.

Blinking fast she typed back. _I miss them too. Drop by tomorrow?_

_Sure._

Smiling, she put her phone back on the table and closed her eyes. It wasn't late by any means but she was tired, something she wouldn't miss when she was back at home. She was still anxious and nauseated but the prospect of seeing her sons the next day made her calm down a bit. Exhaling slowly, she tried to clear her mind and just slow everything down, the last thing she needed was to think too much.

It took longer than she expected but eventually Riane felt herself drifting. Giving herself over to the feeling of falling she finaly succumbed to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.** Welcome back everyone! We're skipping ahead a couple of weeks here in the interest of moving the story along. I kind of wanted to bring some levity into the story after last chapter but it did kind of get away from me in the end. I have a vague idea of where we're going in the next couple of chapters but I will not be starting it until August 9th because the 8th is my birthday If you like (and even if you don't) please read and review. And as always, enjoy.

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_4 weeks later…_

"Thanks so much for doing this J.J."

"It's not a problem."

"You sure? Because I feel bad for tearing you away from your family on a Saturday."

"This won't take long, stop worrying."

"Okay, okay…Thank you."

"Riane you don't need to thank me, I know what it's like to miss your child and there was no way Hotch was going to be able to do it…will you sit still? You're worse than Henry."

Riane grinned, "Sorry Jayje…I'm just _so_ happy to be going home. I've missed everyone terribly and I already know the boys have grown a lot on the past five weeks."

Drumming her fingers against the dashboard Riane felt like a kid in a candy store, she couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy. She'd been in the hospital for a total of five weeks, during which she'd had two additional surgeries, a collapsed lung, some other minor complications and had begun physical therapy. It was all worth it though to be able to go home, she didn't particularly the cane coupled with the cast on her arm but she could cope with that.

"So…" J.J. started, keeping her tone light. "Is Hotch going to be staying with you?"

Riane groaned, "J.J. not you too!"

The blonde laughed, "Sorry Riane but he has been living at your house for over a month."

"I wasn't even there!"

"You will be now though."

Riane rolled her eyes, "I talked to Hotch about it but the man will not go! He's convinced I won't be able to do this on my own."

"That's probably because you only have full functionality in half of your limbs. He's just trying to help."

Riane sighed, "I know, and yes he will be staying. But I'm going to help him out too. I told him he wouldn't have to worry about Jack if I'm going to be home. I have to do physio in the morning but that's only three times a week and Jack's old enough that he won't be that much trouble. And it's not like I'm going to have better things to do: I can't go back to work for at least another three months."

J.J. nodded, "Fine…How long is Hotch going to be staying?"

"You live dangerously don't you?"

"Try looking in a mirror Riane."

"…Fair enough. The truth is that I don't know Jayje. It could be another week it could be another month. But it's not like that, he's working again anyways."

J.J. smirked, "Yes he is. I wanted to thank you for that by the way. With four kids he's been so tired he usually lets paperwork slide until the next day."

"I can imagine, poor guy."

They talked idly for the remainder of the drive, which helped Riane to take her mind off her excitement and anxiety of going home. She wasn't sure how she was going to cope around the house but she was just glad to be going home, she wanted to be with her children. They were fifteen months old, and although it was only thirteen months corrected date it was still up in the air as to whether they were walking and talking or not. Not to mention the fact that she'd spent her 44th birthday in the hospital. Although she probably wouldn't have done anything special it still sucked to have the option taken away from her.

When they pulled into her driveway Riane leaned forward in her seat. "What is that?" She asked looking at the minivan in her driveway.

"Oh," J.J. said. "Hotch borrowed it from a friend. His car didn't have enough room for four kids."

Riane slammed back into the seat and covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh my God! J.J. my car!"

J.J.'s laughter was cut off by Riane's glare. "Sorry Riane but that thing was totaled. It would cost more to fix it than it would to buy a new one."

Riane sighed and hung her head, "That was my first car…I'll have to talk to my insurance and see what they can do for me."

"When you're on the phone with them just casually mention that you're in the FBI. They usually treat federal agents a little better."

Riane huffed, "Sounds fun. Thanks J.J. I can take it from here."

She hadn't even finished her sentence when she heard the car door shut and saw J.J. walking around to her side. Rolling her eyes Riane pushed the door open, grabbed her cane and began the arduous task of getting out of the car and up the driveway. She was eternally grateful that there weren't any stairs outside of inside her house, although she could walk on her injured leg it was more like a slow hobble that quickly went downhill if she put any real weight on it.

She let J.J. unlock the door for her before stepping through into the parlour. She turned back to look at J.J.

"You don't have to-"

"SURPRISE!"

Suddenly, the lights were on and her living room was full of people. Covering her mouth with her hand she laughed at the members of her team who were all standing with expectant looks and wearing birthday hats. Stepping forward, Penelope was the first one to come forward with a bone-crushing hug.

"Happy late birthday Riane! Oh I missed you!"

Riane laughed and hugged back with her one good arm, "Thank you and believe me I missed you too. I'm so sick of white and blue."

Garcia pulled back with a laugh, "Good. Now don't you ever worry me like that again!"

"Woah mama! Pump your brakes and let someone else through."

Penelope sighed good-naturedly and let Derek through who also took his turn wrapping an arm around Riane's shoulders and wishing her a happy 'belated' birthday.

"Good to see you on your own two feet again." He said with a grin.

Riane waggled his eyebrows, "Wanna race me?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "I missed you Pretty Lady."

After Derek she got a quick birthday wish from J.J. and her family as well as Emily and Rossi. When Reid came forward Riane could tell he was nervous. His hands were stuffed in his pockets and he was reluctant to meet her gaze. Meeting his halfway she threw her arm around him and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"We're okay Reid, really we are." She whispered in his ear.

"Really?" He asked.

She pulled back and smiled gently, "Yes really."

Without warning he pulled her into another quick hug before going back to join the other members of the team. Although Reid hid it the best Riane could tell that there was some tension and nervousness lingering around her other coworkers. It was something she couldn't address though until she talked to Hotch which wasn't going to happen in the middle of the party they'd thrown her.

"I love you all and I'm really grateful I am but where are Hotch and my kids?"

There was a chorus of laughter and Riane saw Rossi look at his watch. "A whole five minutes, nice restraint Riane you just earned me five bucks."

Derek was handing Rossi a bill before Riane fully understood what was happening. "You all completely suck!"

Before she could throttle anyone she heard the door to the nursery open. In the hallway Hotch stood with Atticus in one arm and Nathanael in the other. Jack who was standing by his side was awkwardly hold Harrison but from what Riane could tell Harrison was perfectly happy to be with the six year old.

That was of course, until they saw her. Riane felt bad for both Hotch and Jack as her children turned into struggling, flailing bundles. She was grateful when Emily and Derek went over to give the two Hotchners a hand.

When they turned to look at her expectantly Riane couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "Couch?" she suggested.

Adjourning to the couch she let the rest of the team settle in around her smothered her children with hugs and kisses.

"Sorry guys…it's usually only the four of us so I know there's not a lot of places to sit."

"I'm sure they'll figure it out." Hotch said from the other end of the couch.

"Plus it's not like we could just let your 44th go by and not celebrate!" Penelope added.

Riane chuckled darkly, "You really could have."

Emily laughed, "You know none of us could pass up the opportunity for a party. Especially not where there's free food involved."

Riane nodded, "That is true. We can go to the backyard if you want. There's more room and I have washer toss if anyone wants to play."

J.J. laughed, "I haven't played that in years!"

It was early afternoon when everyone was able to finally kick back with some food in the backyard. In lieu of cake Garcia had made about two dozen cupcakes that had spelled out _Happy Birthday Riane! _and the rest were decorated with birthday themed patterns and colours.

"Garcia you spoil me with these! How long did they take to make them?"

Penelope winked, "Well I can't take all the credit, and I had some help from my favourite godson!"

Riane laughed and accepted one. "Well they look fantastic…and delicious. I am very excited to try one. Thank you Penelope _and_ Henry."

Looking over at her sons Riane watched amusedly as they tried to take the hats she'd made them wear off.

"Look you three," she started, gaining their attention. "Just be grateful you don't have mommy's blue eyes. It could be a lot worse than hats and sunscreen."

Pulling Harrison into her lap she held a vanilla cupcake in one hand and a chocolate one in the other.

"Which one do you want...No no no, let's start with one and see how this goes."

"Oh come on Ryan let the kid have two." Derek drawled from somewhere to her left.

She rolled her eyes and gave her son the chocolate one he decided on. "Yeah alright, and you can deal with him later tonight when he cranky coming off a sugar rush and no nap."

Doing the same with Atticus and Nathanael she let them choose a cupcake before getting one for herself. Within minutes the three toddlers were covered in icing and cake which was a great source of entertainment for the group. When everyone had their fill of food the washer toss was set up; round one consisted of Will and J.J. against Derek and Emily. They played to twenty-one with the final score being 23-9 for Will and J.J.

"There is no way you guys are that good!" Emily exclaimed. "You had to be cheating!"

J.J. rolled her eyes, "We beat you fair and square. Maybe you guys just suck."

Derek smirked, "You only won because you let Henry throw for you guys."

Will laughed and picked up his son. "Couldn't have done it without my boy."

The banter continued with Garcia and Reid eventually being pulled in to play against the winners. Riane sat back and watched her friends, in their line of work they rarely got time to relax and celebrate and even though she'd only been in the BAU for six months she enjoyed a day off as much as the next person. Even Jack and Henry were having fun playing tag – and throwing the occasional washer – in the backyard.

The cupcakes seemed to not have as much effect on her kids as Riane had originally thought. For the most part they just looked tired even though they were making their best effort to stay awake and watch all the people.

"Turned out to be a pretty good day for a party," Hotch commented from the lounge chair next to hers.

"It wouldn't dare rain on this party."

"Not if Mother Nature wanted to spare the wrath of Penelope Garcia," Rossi joked.

Riane glanced at her watch and then back at her children. "I think it may be time for a nap. I guess there wasn't enough sugar in those cupcakes."

Almost automatically Hotch reached forward and scooped up Atticus and Riane watched in amused fascination as the boy immediately fisted Hotchner's shirt and closed his eyes.

"Geez Hotchner what's your secret?"

He looked slightly confused before clueing in and grinning, "I have done this before you know."

"You'll have to lend me the manual sometime. There's a baby monitor-"

"-In the closet. I got it, I'll be right back."

Harrison and Nathanael noticed their brother and Hotch's disappearance immediately and they barely got the chance to cry before Derek and Rossi came to the rescue. Riane shook her head and leaned back in her chair as she watched the two grown men turn into putty in her children's hands. It was cute to see Derek so immersed in Nathanael; she'd always thought they'd get along, a lot of the time when she thought about her Nathanael's future she envisioned him becoming someone like Derek Morgan.

Rossi had a completely different expression on his face. He looked almost melancholic although he hid it well, there was a sadness in his eyes as he looked at Harrison that almost scared her and although she wanted to ask him about it she doubted she ever would. It also wasn't likely that he would tell her, the man was one of the most secretive people she knew.

"I could have done that you know, I am their mother." She said although it felt somewhat redundant.

"You kept these three from us for fourteen months Ryan. You can be damn sure I'm going to make up for lost time."

Riane rubbed the bridge of her nose and gave up the fight, "Well you might as well put him to bed. Hotch will show you where the room is."

Derek winked before going into the house with Rossi. When they came out a few minutes later Hotch had the monitor with him and he set it on the table. The remainder of the afternoon was easy going ad relaxed, it always seemed to be that way when they got together. J.J. and Will were the first to go, the full day had thoroughly tired out four year old Henry and they decided enough was enough when he started to get a little grumpy. By the time Emily left a short time later her boys were back up and feeling the full impact of the sugar. She had to laugh as she watched Hotch at work, playing and sometimes scolding while Jack only served to add to the sugar rush – probably because he was still coming off his own.

She was engrossed in the scene playing before her when Rossi took a seat next to her. "He's good with those boys." He said offhandedly.

She nodded without looking at him, "I know. It's kind of weird, no one else has really done that kind of thing except for me."

"Kids seem to like him."

She glanced over, "Where are you going with this Rossi?"

He met her gaze, "It's already been a month, and they seem pretty attached already. What's it going to be like after another month?"

She frowned, she would be lying if she said that she hadn't thought about it. When she'd originally agreed to let Hotch move into her home and take care of her children she hadn't dreamed it would take as long as it did. And the fact that her casts probably wouldn't come off for another couple of weeks made it worse. Since they'd been born all she worried about was that they weren't going to have a father figure, as a cop and then an FBI agent she knew all too well what young boys could become if they fell in with the wrong crowd looking for the male influence they were missing.

She shook her head, more to convince herself than to convince Rossi. "It'll be fine, I mean it's not like they'll never see him again. He just won't be around as often."

Rossi raised an eyebrow, "Hotch told me that for the first couple of nights when he was here and you were in the hospital they would wake up in the night and cry uncontrollably for you."

The thought made her blink fast. "Rossi…" she whispered desperately.

"Are you-" he continued. "-willing to put them through that again when he leaves?"

She didn't answer him, she suddenly wasn't really feeling in the mood for a party.

"Those kids are my life." She murmured.

"I don't doubt that Riane. I'm just asking you to think long-term for a minute so you can lessen the pain on them when the time comes."

With that he gave her another quick hug and said his goodbyes, followed by Derek and Garcia who'd planned on a horror movie marathon of some of the oldies that Garcia liked mixed in with some of the newer ones that Morgan favoured.

With just Reid left it was obvious to see that he was still feeling guilty. Meeting Hotch's gaze he tilted his head in the direction of the house and she smiled at him before going over to touch Reid shoulder.

"Hey." She said softly. "Help me with dinner?"

When he nodded simply she led him into the kitchen and gave her fridge and freezer a quick look-through to see what was there. Praising Aaron Hotchner she pulled out the thawed pork chops from the fridge along with some carrots and tossed them to Reid.

"Start peeling." She said.

He looked momentarily confused but began the peeling nonetheless as she turned the stove on, pulled out a saucepan, and measured the water she would need to make the rice.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong or are you just going to shred my carrots? Seriously though Reid I only have like four and I need all of them for dinner."

He seemed to totally ignore her as he transitioned from peeling into chopping and she put the pork chops into the oiled pan, reveling in the sizzle that rose up when the meat touched the oil.

"I shouldn't have told everyone," he said finally without looking at her. "That was wrong of me, I should have just kept it to myself and talked to your first."

She nodded slowly, "Spencer we both know it would have killed you to have had that on your chest for the past month."

"Yeah but still…it's so _personal _and it wasn't my place to broadcast it to everyone."

She smiled sadly as he put the chopped carrots into the pot she'd given him. "I said we were okay, and I meant it. If I'm being honest I can't even begin to imagine if or when I would have told you guys if it hadn't been brought up. I guess what I'm really trying to say is thank you."

His head whipped around so fast she worried he'd given himself a minor case of whiplash. The look on his face said everything he was probably too stunned to say, his eyes were wide and his mouth was open slightly. Everything about his expression screamed shock and disbelief.

Flipping the pork chops over and adding the rice to the boiling water Riane took a moment to organize her thoughts. "It was hard to keep that secret. I mean, in the beginning it was easy because you were just a bunch of random strangers but in the last couple of months I've come to love you guys and I've learned about some of the struggles you've been through. How was I supposed to tell you? I guess I just wanted a little bit of anonymity…just wanted to be normal or at least pretend to be."

Watching the pork sizzle in the pan she waited for Reid to respond. She understood that it was a lot to process she just hoped it was enough to express everything she wanted to say. Turning the rice down to a mild simmer she chanced a glance at him to see him staring at her although she wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not.

"Come on Reid say something," she pleaded.

He shook his head, "…I don't know what to say Riane."

"Is that good or bad?"

"A little of both. I'm glad that you're not mad at me for telling most of the team about you but I feel bad that I took your feeling of normalcy away."

She chuckled airily, "Six months was more than I ever could have asked for. Plus it won't be that bad as long as you stop feeling guilty and everything goes back to the way it was before."

"Can it go back to the way it was?" He asked.

"A different kind of normal. Everyone on the team has some kind of skeleton in their closet. They might not be able to say that they are the same person they were before but they've grown, adapted and created a new normal."

Reid half grinned, "I never knew you were so wise Riane."

She flipped over the pork chops, "Well I do have a few years on you?"

He laughed in a surprised burst, "A few?"

She pointed her spatula at him, "Oi you, a few years or not I could still teach you a thing or two."

Reid held his hands up I mock surrender, "Okay okay! You win."

She smirked, "Thank you. Can you go get Hotch and tell him dinner's ready? And are you staying for dinner?"

"Oh no," he shook his head. "No I couldn't. I should actually get going."

"Great you're staying. Go get Hotch and I'll plate up for when you get back."

The expression of non-amusement on his face made her laugh, nonetheless he left to go get Hotch while she put the food onto plates as fast as she could. Coming down the hallway the five of them sounded more like a riot than a couple of federal agents and some children.

"Something smells good." Hotch commented as he came in carrying Nathanael.

"I've missed cooking my own food. Alright everyone grab a plate and if the boys could be set up in their chairs that would be a great help."

The table wasn't exactly big enough for seven people which meant some people having to eat on corners which no one seemed to complain about. The boys seemed happy enough with their rice and carrots and juice – the pork chops had been too tough – while everyone else seemed contented with what had been made.

Shortly after dinner Reid left which gave Jack and the triplets enough time to wind down in time for their respective bed times. The busy day, mixed with the pain medications and doing household chores for the first time in over a moth was enough to tire out Riane who lasted only a little longer than Jack. Not long after – after making sure all the doors were locked and everything was secure – Hotch also went to bed, falling asleep only moments after he'd settled on the couch.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N. **Hello hello! Welcome to chapter seven, I thank you all for sticking around this long. I'm sorry for the delay, I'm having some word processor difficulty so I've had to type most of this on the FF website. For future reference, I do sometimes post updates about my writing on my Tumblr blog which is under the same username as the one I use here. That being said, I start my first year of Uni in like two weeks which means updates will slow considerably so I'm going to try and write some chapters in the next two weeks and save them up so I can post once or twice a month and keep up with school work. This chapter ends a little awkwardly but I wanted to have momentum for the next chapter (which will be a Hotch POV). If you like - and even if you don't - please read and review. And as always, enjoy.

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Riane Collins collapsed onto her faded blue recliner with enough force to partially knock the breath out of her. She'd been home for all of eighteen hours and she was already completely exhausted and aching from head to toe. To her credit, the man lying on her couch looked no better than she felt; the both of them had been up for most of the night trying to cope with the fact that all three boys wanted to be with her but were angry at her in the same instance. The combination had warranted a lot of screaming, tears, and exhausted FBI agents.

"I can't believe Jack slept the whole night," Riane murmured. "Where did he get those genes from?"

"Haley." He answered without hesitation. "Of course after Jack was born that went out the window but in the beginning Haley really enjoyed her beauty sleep."

Riane smiled as Hotch recounted that small tidbit of his life. The man was a stoic workaholic who rarely smiled and never shared about himself or his life. As Riane was the newbie she knew virtually nothing about the team and their backgrounds but she did know about the tragedy that had been Hotch's ordeal with The Replicator. She knew that Hotch's ex-wife Haley had been murdered but that their son Jack had been saved, however, that was the extent of her knowledge. To hear him share that small piece of trivia about the woman he loved so dearly was heartwarming even if she blamed it on the fact that he was conscious because of caffeine and willpower.

Rubbing the back of her neck Riane tried to work the kinks out, as much as she loved and wanted to be with her children with only one arm available she could only hold one child at a time and she had to be sitting because she didn't have another arm to use the cane with. The end result was arms wrapped around her neck in what could only be described as a vice grip.

"I feel bad that you're sleeping on the couch. It can't be good for your back."

Her response was a loud crack that she could only guess was the result of him relieving some of the tension in his spine. "It's not a bad couch," he said after a moment.

She shrugged, "Yeah well you're not going to have to sleep on it anymore. I'm pretty sure I have an air mattress in my shed in the backyard."

"That's not necessary."

"Hotch, unless something comes up you'll be back at work tomorrow which means you need to be ready for anything. I'm not having the team jump down my throat about breaking the infamous Aaron Hotchner. And because you insist on staying you're just going to have to forfeit this battle and go get the air mattress because it's better than nothing."

He maneuvered so that he could look at her, "...Deal. I'll go grab it later today."

She grinned at the small victory, it wasn't every day that anyone got to make a favourable deal with Aaron Hotchner.

"Speaking of deals," she started. "I start my physio tomorrow but I can't really drive so I was wondering if you'd be able to drop the triplets off at the sitter's. I figured maybe Jack might want to spend some time with his aunt as well…maybe."

Hotch nodded, "Yes I can do that. I'll just call Jessica later today but I'm sure it won't be a problem. She used to have him every day but three days a week still gives her a lot of time to spend with him."

"Yeah. I mean my session is an hour long so he can come back whenever he wants although I doubt he'd want to hurry back."

"What about Atticus, Nathanael, and Harrison?" He asked.

"Well Heather usually takes them on a walk to get them settled in the afternoon and she only lives about ten minutes away so I'm sure she'll be able to drop them off. I would pick them up on the way back seeing as the bus goes right by there but I can't walk that far in my current condition with the stroller."

Hotch brushed his hair back from his eyes, "Everything sounds fine to me. It should be fine with Jessica but I'll call later. Are you sure you're going to be okay tomorrow?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes I will be fine. I have done this before despite what everyone seems to think. The circumstances are different but I have an exceptional learning curve."

"Yes, you do. It's one of the first things I noticed when you joined the BAU."

She scoffed, "Really? I was like a drunk chicken for the first couple of weeks."

He laughed, "I've seen worse."

"Seen better too I hope."

He grinned. "Much better," he acquiesced.

They fell into a calm silence in the peace of the early morning. It was still too early to get up and function and quite frankly Riane didn't want to, she only hoped that all the children slept for another couple of hours. She still hadn't figured out when she was going to tell Hotch about her past, for some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell him at that moment. Out of the entire team Riane felt that Hotch would be the one who would react the most, and she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

They had about five more minutes of peace and quiet before the crying started up again causing Riane to laugh.

"And so it begins," She mumbled as she pushed herself up from the chair.

Four hours later and the crying had barely stopped for more than ten minutes. Riane used her good leg to give herself momentum to rock as she tried to get Nathanael to stop crying. Hotch had taken Jack, Atticus and Harrison out to the backyard to try and keep them away from the noise. She felt bad for Jack, the poor kid had looked both annoyed at all the sound and sad he couldn't help.

Resting her check against the top of the toddler's head she frowned, "You're awfully hot buddy, and I don't think it's just the heat."

Struggling to her feet it broke her heart to put Nathanael down, he cried in her arms but he screamed when she put him down. In the bathroom she found her ear thermometer which she then had to use on her son and was easier in theory because the boy kept trying to bury his head in her neck.

She grimaced when she looked at the thermometer, "Looks like we get to go to the hospital my friend."

Putting Nathanael back down in his crib she hobbled out to the backyard, she could see Jack and Hotch kicking around a soccer ball while Atticus and Harrison played with some nesting blocks and other toys. The scene was so domestic she momentarily forgot why she'd gone out there. She watched the father and son play for a few minutes, she felt bad that she would have to interrupt what looked to be a lot of fun.

As she was watching Jack kicked the ball, which Hotch 'dived' for only to have the ball slip in between the makeshift goal posts. Riane cheered as Jack threw his arms up triumphantly.

Her cheers must have gotten Jack's attention because he called over to her. "Did you see my goal Ms. Riane?! I scored on daddy!"

"I did Jack! Good job! Better luck next time dad!"

Hotch laughed and got up off the ground, tossing the ball back to Jack. "Good job buddy. You'll be good to go next season."

Hotch high-fived his soon and ruffled his hair before walking over to meet Riane in the doorway.

"Hey. He finally go down?"

She shook her head, "No. I took his temperature and it's a little too high for my liking. I think I might have to take him to the hospital."

Hotch frowned, "Alright. I'll take you there."

She smiled sadly, "I appreciate that. You don't have to stay, I think it would be boring for Jack but if you could drop me off that would be great."

He nodded, "You get Nathanael ready and I'll bring everyone inside."

"Thanks Hotch."

Going back inside she could hear Nathanael whimpering from his bedroom and it put a damper on whatever good mood had been created by watching Hotch and Jack. Getting his car seat from the living room she pulled out a quick outfit for Nathanael who'd spent the entire morning too distraught to get dressed. She managed to get his changed but she put off putting him in his car seat until everyone else was ready. He seemed to have calmed down a little but he was still whimpering and pulling at his ear.

"Honey I'm sorry you're so miserable. Is it your ear?" She put the back of her hand against his ear and whistled when she felt the heat coming off. "I think we might have a bit of an ear infection. I bet the doctor can fix that, how does that sound?"

She smiled as he babbled at her, "There we go. We'll get it sorted don't you worry." Kissing his forehead she rocked him until she heard Jack come running down the hallway. By the time Hotch came in Nathanael was almost asleep against her and she was dreading having to put him down.

Hotch took a couple of steps in when he realized that Nathanael was almost asleep. His expression was enough to make her laugh softly.

"Small victories." She shrugged.

"Poor guy," he murmured.

"Yeah. I think it might be an ear infection. Hopefully they can see him quickly."

He nodded as he stuffed the diaper bag with everything he thought she might need while at the hospital. "I'm sure if he starts crying they'll get him in there pretty quickly."

"Never fails."

Hotch lifted the car seat onto the changing table so she wouldn't have to bend down to put Nathanael in it. As gently and slowly as she could she lowered the sleeping child into the car seat, for the first time since they'd been born she was glad that they were small because if he'd been an average-sized fifteen month old she would have needed help. Buckling him in, she was grateful that her children had a tendency to sleep like the dead, she'd always been a light sleeper but the longer her children slept the better it was for everyone.

The drive to the hospital was relatively uneventful, Atticus and Harrison babbled the whole way there and to keep them all amused Jack offered his services as translator. When they go to the hospital Hotch helped her get the stroller out and get Nathanael settled in but stopped her when she went to get Atticus' car seat out.

She looked at him quizzically, "Hotch you're kinda blocking…everything."

His lips twitched, "Take Nathanael. You're already going to have your hands full let me take them back with me. It's almost time for lunch anyways."

She sighed exasperatedly, "You don't have to. I can handle this."

"I know you can. But I also know it's okay to accept help every once and a while."

"You've been my saving grace for over a month Hotch."

"Then what's another couple of hours?" He asked.

Riane rubbed her left temple but backed off nonetheless, "Fine. I'll call you when we're ready to be picked up."

He nodded and closed the doors before getting back in the driver's seat. She watched him pull away before she went into the hospital. She just hoped that she would be out before naptime.

* * *

"So what did the doctor say?" Hotch asked as Riane got into the passenger seat.

"Ear infection. He gave me some antibiotics for him and said that I could give him some children's ibuprofen if I thought it was necessary. He doesn't seem that bad right now but I might give him some and then put him down for a nap."

He nodded, "Jack had one or two when he was really young but they never lasted for more than a couple of days."

"Good. I just hope no one else gets one, they've been sick at the same times with a cold and that was not fun."

"I can imagine."

She smirked and looked over her shoulder at Jack who was sitting behind his father, "So Jack did you score anymore goals when I was gone?"

"No," the boy shook his head. "We watched _Cars_."

"I love that movie!"

Jack beamed, "Maybe we can watch it again?" He sounded hopeful.

"Sure, I have to have lunch first though because I'm starving."

The rest of the drive was peaceful; Riane chatted with Hotch and Jack while the boys dozed periodically, obviously ready for a nap. When they got back Hotch put Atticus and Harrison down while Riane got Nathanael fed. Giving him the antibiotics and ibuprofen she'd picked up from the pharmacy he was ready for his nap a half hour later.

When she sat down on the recliner Jack and Hotch already had _Cars_ ready in the dvd player.

Pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger she yawned, "I'm sorry Jack I think I might fall asleep on you."

Jack smiled, "That's okay. We can just watch it again later!"

She laughed, "Maybe tomorrow."

She cracked up at the horrified look on Hotch's face. "Don't look so devastated Hotch, your face might stick like that."

"I'll try and get over it," he deadpanned.

It only took about ten minutes into the movie for her to fall asleep, she figured that by the time the movie was over her children would be up so she planned to make use of what little down time she had.

* * *

_It was dark out. Why was it so dark? It had been the middle of the afternoon when she'd closed her eyes. She couldn't even tell if it was late at night or early in the morning._

_She looked around for something familiar but all she could see was field through the window. That wasn't right, there wasn't acres of open field in Quantico, the last time she'd seen scenery like that had been in Palo Alto. She wasn't in Palo Alto though, she'd moved over a year ago…how had she gotten back home?_

_She tried to move but quickly found she couldn't. Looking over in confusion she found her hands tied together above her head and secured to what appeared to be a banister. When had that happened? Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to remember anything before waking up but her head hurt and she was dizzy, everything before then was a blur. Testing her extremities she came to the conclusion that nothing was broken, but her shoulders were sore and her feet were bloody. Where were her shoes? She'd been wearing them when she gone out for her run._

_She looked around the room, she didn't recognize the room from the inside which meant she could be anywhere. If she was in Palo Alto someone would notice she was gone right? Her team at the BAU would notice when she didn't show up for work and they would look for her. Raising her head she looked down at herself, she taken her cell phone with her too hadn't she? Surely she would have in case the team needed her._

_She shook her head, trying to straighten out her thoughts. She hadn't remembered going running, did that mean the boys were at Heather's? She never went running anymore, she spent all her down time at home with her children trying to savour every moment. Why had she gone running?_

_What day was it?_

_Is she was back in Palo Alto how long had she been gone? It could have been days…but surely she would have woken up before then right? Straining, she tried to find any distinctive features in the room; it was ratty, the furniture was old and broken and the room smelled like musk. It was apparent that it hadn't been lived in for a long time, no one would be able to maintain a standard of living in such a place._

_She heard the door creak and she flinched, drawing her legs closer to herself. The door opened slowly and the sound was torturous, long, drawn out, and straight out of a horror movie. Bracing herself for whatever or whoever was to come she tried to calm herself and think clearly, it wasn't going to help her if she panicked and forgot all her training._

_Her rationality flew out the window when Silas Donovan walked into the room holding Atticus. She felt her whole body go cold and numb as the panic and shock filled her body. Before she could stop herself she tried to reach out for him and cursed when the rope tightened around her wrists. _

_She shivered inadvertently when he chuckled._

_"Come on now Riane. You know those knots are solid. Stop trying you'll bleed all over the floor."_

_She swallowed and let the restraints go slack, "Please don't hurt him."_

_He arched an eyebrow and bounced Atticus on his hip, "Why would I hurt my own son?"_

_"Let him go then Silas."_

_He laughed, "Let him go? Riane, if I'm going to kill their mother than you can be damn sure I'm going to be their father...Might change their names though Atticus, Nathanael and Harrison are just a bit old fashioned for me."_

_"Why?"_

_He grinned, "Because I can. I'm going to kill you and take them away. I've got so much to teach them after all."_

_"Silas please." She begged._

_"Don't you 'please' me Collins. This is all your fault. You _mocked _me in front of all those people, how could you do that? And then, and then you try and take away my children? I don't think so."_

_"You killed four women," she bit out._

_"Yeah," he nodded. "Unfortunately for you it's going to be five in a couple of minutes."_

_Riane let her head drop onto the floor and squeezed her eyes shut. She took deep intentional breaths to maintain what little was left of the calm she was clinging to. She couldn't let Silas Donovan take her children, that wasn't an option. She tried the restraints again but they still wouldn't budge._

_"Are you done?" He asked, sarcasm and boredom dripping from his words._

_"You don't have to do this," she said._

_Casually, like he had all the time in the world Silas but Atticus down on the floor and pulled his gun out from where it had been stashed on the small of his back. Turning it over in his hands Riane watched as he tried to play upon the fact that he had her at his mercy. She could tell that he was trying to unnerve her, she'd expected him to do so. She'd seen enough serial rapists in Palo Alto and Quantico to know that what Silas Donovan wanted was power over her and at that moment it was all he had._

_Silas looked over his shoulder at Atticus who was keeping very quiet on the cold floor. "Sorry buddy. It's going to get loud in her for a minute."_

_Walking forward towards Riane he took aim. Staring down the muzzle of a gun she recoiled as best she could, pulling her knees to her chest and pulling helplessly at the restraints._

_"We could have been happy," he murmured and pulled the trigger._

* * *

Riane awoke with a jolt and a gasp which sent fire up the nerves in her left arm. Pressing her right arm into her left shoulder it took her a moment to realize that both Hotch and Jack were staring at her; Jack with a shocked expression and Hotch with one of concern.

Shaking her head, she gave them a weak smile. "I'm okay. Really I'm fine."

"Did you have a bad dream?" Jack asked.

She nodded, "Yeah Jack. Something like that."

Without warning, Jack went over and hugged her taking care not to hurt her injured arm or leg. Shocked into stillness it took Riane a few seconds to hug the by back, wrapping her arms around his tightly she let out a shaky breath before pulling away.

"Thank you Jack," she whispered.

He smiled, "Mommy always used to hug me when I had bad dreams. It made me feel better."

She smiled, "Your mommy was very smart. I do feel better now."

Looking over at Hotch she was taken aback by the intensity of his expression. She wondered if she'd overstepped some kind of boundary, after all Jack hadn't known her for that long, she would have understood if Hotch wanted her to keep his distance. When he got up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink she followed him, Jack having gone back to his movie.

"Hotch I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step over any lines with Jack."

Hotch shook his head and handed her a glass of water, "You didn't. Are you alright?"

She looked at him quizzically, "What? Oh no Hotch I'm fine, really. I'm just sorry you and Jack had to see that."

He didn't look convinced but to her gratitude he didn't push the issue. "You know, you can always talk to me."

"Thanks Hotch."

It turned out that there were a lot of things that Riane hadn't know about Aaron Hotchner. For one, the man could cook despite the fact he claimed to have the cooking skills of a newly released inmate.

"This is delicious Hotch! I've never seen my kids eat spinach before and it's freaking me out a little."

He laughed, "A little butter and salt. I can't promise it'll work every time but it's always worth a try."

She shrugged, "They're eating it. That's good enough for me."

Jack looked up from picking at his chicken, "Daddy always said that spinach makes you strong like Popeye!"

Riane nodded, "That's right! You watch Popeye Jack?"

The six year old nodded, excited at the prospect of getting to share all his knowledge of Popeye and the magical properties of spinach. Riane was more than happy to listen to Jack talk, she loved her children immensely but at their age there wasn't a lot of interaction although they seemed to learn new words every day. She would never admit it but she couldn't wait for when they were old enough to be excited about things like Popeye the way Jack was. She also couldn't wait for the day when her children were as happy to help with the dishes as Jack was.

"I can't believe Jack helps you with the dishes," Riane said with a laugh later that evening. "When I found out I was having boys everyone told me to prepare for stains and the never ending grocery bill."

He smirked, "Well they were right about the stains. I guess the rest will come with age. You just have to be patient and understanding and at times willing to let go."

"Not too soon I hope."

"Oh don't worry, you've still got another eighteen years to go. They might drift away but they'll always come back to where the food and warm bed are."

The amused tone in Hotch's voice made Riane smile. She'd rarely ever seen the softer side of him but over the past month she'd come to know Aaron Hotchner and she was quite fond of him. It was part of the reason why she was so reluctant to tell him about her past; she didn't want to ruin whatever progress they'd made.

"Oh by the way. I talked to Jessica and she agreed to watch Jack when you're at the hospital."

She nodded, "Great. Thanks Hotch."

She could have sworn that he rolled his eyes but the expression was so quick she couldn't be sure. Looking down at her watch she felt a spike of anxiety at the late hour, she'd decided earlier in the day that that night would be the night she would come clean to Hotch. There wasn't any way for her to put it off now that she was out of the hospital and she couldn't abuse his trust any longer. She just couldn't shake the feeling that she was lying to him, and she didn't want to put the team under the pressure of keeping something away from their leader.

Standing, she leaned against the window sill behind the recliner that was parallel to the couch where Hotch was; she wanted to put some distance between them.

His confused expression made her anxiety worse, "Hotch I have to tell you something."

He straightened in his seat, his ability to become objective something that would always astound her.

"Anything," he answered.

She picked at her nails while she tried to find the right words to tell him. "There isn't any way I can think of saying this other than to just say it and I am sorry that I didn't say anything sooner..."

To his credit, Hotch didn't say a word as she tried to figure out how to proceed. She didn't think she could have gone through with it had he been anything other than stoic and non-yielding.

Taking a deep breath she looked him in the eye, "I was raped."


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N. **Hello everyone! Welcome to those who recently started reading, I'm always glad to hear what you think! Because of University I'm going to try and keep my profile up to date to let you know if something changes, if not feel free to PM me and I'll let you know the status of the chapter and when I hope to have it posted. I think that's all so if you like (and even if you don't) please read and review. And as always, enjoy.

P.S. If you haven't watched the CM Season Nine promo go watch it now. And by right now I mean after you've read this chapter!

* * *

Aaron Hotchner was having a hard time comprehending what he was hearing; the word rape was echoing around his head almost like Derek Morgan's revelation had years earlier. The shock froze his body and made his bones feel empty to the point where he was entirely certain that she could have knocked him over with a single breath. The more he thought about it the more it made sense; why she'd kept her children from them, why there wasn't a boyfriend or a father, why there weren't any pictures in the house of someone who'd been remotely important before she'd come to Quantico. As a general rule the team tried not to profile each other but it was hard not to notice when someone acted strangely, after a while he'd just accepted it as Riane's own version of normal, he'd never realized how right he had been. Everyone had different coping techniques and he'd figured that she was someone who liked to separate her private and professional life and he'd had no reason to interfere because it hadn't affected her ability to work. Now that he knew the truth Hotch couldn't believe that he'd missed all of the signs, especially the obvious ones such as her anxiety and discomfort around men she didn't know and the fact that she seemed to try and avoid as much physical contact as she could.

Hotch had seen much worse though, compared to some of the degenerating mental and physical damage he'd seen in rape victims - both male and female - Riane appeared to be ahead of the pack. However, not all rapists impregnated their victims and those that did were almost always delusional and trying to act out some kind of fantasy. Which almost always took a toll psychologically on the victims who couldn't understand what was happening.

"Hotch?...Hotch?...You there?"

Riane's calling eventually brought him back to the present and he did his best to maintain his mask of indifference when he looked up at her.

"Sorry. I'm listening."

She smiled sadly, "I don't really know what to tell you. I guess I owe you the entire story"

"You don't owe me anything," he cut in. "You can tell me as much or as little as you feel comfortable with."

"Well the rest of the team knows. Reid recognized...him from a photo he'd seen before he met my boys."

Hotch nodded slowly, he had noticed that his team had seemed to be on edge a bit. He'd also noticed that Reid had been acting strangely at Riane's birthday party; he'd shrugged it off when he had thought that Spencer had looked guilty but now he understood why that was the case.

He saw something out of the corner of his eye and looked over to see her holding her phone out to him. The screen showed a picture of a young man that Hotch recognized immediately; he'd seen that face many times with only a few alterations to the facial structure.

"This is Silas Donovan," Riane said quietly. "This is my own personal nightmare."

The more he listened to her story the more he recognized it, and that recognition made his chest feel tight. It was an all too familiar situation, one he'd seen before and one he was sure he'd seen again. Everyone knew not to go out alone at night but no one figured that they would be picked off the street in broad daylight; the truth of the matter was that most people who were kidnapped were taken because they were highly regimented and followed a schedule, unknowingly making themselves targets.

She didn't go into any detail and he didn't ask her too, he really wasn't sure if he wanted all the details. Some things needed to be kept a secret but he would always listen if she wanted to talk.

"So yeah. He, um, kept me for two days..."

"Two days?" He asked before he could stop himself.

She nodded slowly, still perched on the window sill. "Yupp. I was special – his stressor if you will. After all, I was one of the cops working his case. In the end it was what made him though, they were able to get him a week after they found me."

He wasn't sure how to respond to her, after all he'd dealt with countless victims of rape and other sexual assaults but Riane was a member of his team. Not only did she know every trick in the book but the last thing he wanted was to make her feel like a victim especially seeing as it had been about two years since the incident and she was trusting him enough to let him stay in her home.

"Did he know you were pregnant?" Hotch asked.

Riane smirked, "He was tried in April 2012 and by then I was five months pregnant so yes. I'm pretty sure I was seeing 'whale sized' in the rear view by that time. Honestly? I think it was the point. To leave me with a constant reminder of what had happened. There were five of us…I was the only one he left alive." Her voice was a little more than a whisper at the end and she cleared her throat before continuing.

"I left Palo Alto as soon as I was done on the stand, a friend called me to tell me he'd been convicted."

"What was his sentence?"

"He got ten years for each count of rape which added up to fifty years as well as four counts of first degree murder which in Iowa is life without parole. He was also charged with kidnapping with intent to kill and every other charge they could make stick."

"He'll never get out." Hotch murmured.

She shook her head, "Nope. Really doesn't make it any better though…He didn't win though Hotch, he didn't."

"I know that."

"No, you don't. He thought he'd won because he'd gotten me pregnant...but those are my children and there isn't anything I can't imagine that I wouldn't do for them. I might not be the best mother out there but they are _always_ my first priority."

He didn't have to look at her to believe her, there was a determination in her voice that he admired and a strength that was almost tangible. When he did look at her the intensity in her eyes was hard and he realized that the only thing that had kept her going was her children. It was something he sympathized with immediately; he knew what it was like to have a desperate need to protect your children and to always be there and always be 100% when you were there because it never lasted long.

No one said anything for a few minutes, they just let the dust settle and gave everyone time to acclimatize. There was a lot he wanted to say but he didn't have the words to do so and he doubted that any words he did say would help the situation.

"I appreciate you telling me this." He said.

"It wasn't fair in the beginning to keep it from everyone. It definitely wasn't fair to keep it from you alone, not with everything that has happened."

"So you're nightmare..."

She nodded, "Yupp. I think all the talking just took over my subconscious because I usually don't have that many anymore. You work me too hard, at the end of the day I just come home and collapse." She said with a grin.

He arched an eyebrow, "I don't believe that."

She made a face. "You're right. I come home, do mom stuff for a couple hours and then collapse, and let's not pretend that you don't do the same thing when you get the chance," she amended.

Hotch shrugged, "I will concede to that."

She shot him a weak smile, "Checkmate."

It took her a while but she eventually sat back down in the recliner, something he was glad for. The last thing he wanted was for her to be uncomfortable around him, it was essential not only because of their current situation but because he needed to know his team was a single unit and not fractured because of personal relationships.

"So you were five months pregnant when you left Iowa?" He asked.

She nodded.

"With triplets?" He added.

"Seriously Hotch?" She asked exasperatedly.

He smirked, "How did you even get on a plane that pregnant?"

She groaned dramatically, "Lord in Heaven Hotch you have no idea how much crap I had to go to through to get on a plane. It was ridiculous! I understand that I was high-risk and all but it was so much hassle. It took literally every connection I had to get me on the flight and it's like a little over two hours. During the whole thing they treated me like I was 102 and made out of fine china. And when we landed? Don't even get me started because I'll never stop."

He laughed, "I can't imagine. I'm glad you made it here though."

"Me too. Although I must admit Quantico scared the hell out of me in the beginning, it's completely crazy."

"Compared to Iowa maybe."

She chuckled, "Definitely. Alright well it's getting late and you need to get up tomorrow so I'll leave you alone. Don't worry about inflating the air mattress because if my boys sleep through my louder than necessary vacuum then they can sleep through the motor on the air mattress."

"Thank you. Good night."

"Night Hotch."

Hotch got to work on setting up the air mattress while Riane was in the washroom. Originally he'd planned to stay in the guest room with Jack but it was too late and too dark to try and drag the mattress into the boy's temporary room, he'd probably knock something over and wake everyone up.

His thoughts kept him up long into the night. He started off thinking about Riane but somehow his thought circled back to his days as prosecutor. He thought about the case they'd had in New York back when Elle had still been on the team and about how she had mentioned how seldom rape courses made it to court and how many were dropped after they had. He rationalized - as he was sure Riane had done - that she really was one of the lucky ones, she was alive, she'd moved away from where the incident had taken place, and she had a beautiful family. He tried to focus on the lighter side of the situation, tried to focus on the side that Riane saw because he didn't want to speculate about the details. When Hotch finally did fall asleep he'd exhausted him mind into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

The next morning passed with a blur for Riane. She hadn't had a minute to herself since she'd gotten up; between getting three children dressed and fed along with Jack, getting Hoch to ingest something more than a cup of coffee, and getting to the hospital on time she was exhausted and had yet to start her physical therapy. As it happened her physical therapist was a complete slave driver, she was the one of the nicest women she'd met until they actually started the physical part of the session. By the time it was over she was exhausted and sore but it felt good to use her muscles again, although she'd never been a huge fan of working out she always loved the feeling of sore muscles, something about it made her feel accomplished. After she'd had her children she'd had to wait to exercise again because of the C-section scar but by the time she'd gotten out of the hospital she'd been able to start back on a routine of simple exercises and light cardio. It had been imperative that she try and get rid of as much of her baby weight as possible before she started at the BAU or she would have never been able to keep her secret for as long as she had.

As she was unlocking the door she heard her phone ring, bringing it to her ear she tried to hold it there with her shoulder and get inside at the same time.

"Hi Hotch," she said when she finally got through the door.

"Hi, how was the physio?"

She arched an eyebrow, "Fine. It was fine. You didn't call about that though right?"

"No. Strauss came to see me this morning, she seems worried about inter-team relations..."

Riane laughed, "Oh no! Seriously?"

He chuckled, "Unfortunately. You'll probably hear from her, I know she wants to talk to you as well."

Riane made a face. It wasn't that she disliked the Section Chief but Erin Strauss was a force to be reckoned with. Over the past six months Riane hadn't really had any run-ins with the woman but she knew from what she'd been told that it was better not to cross the woman.

She sighed, "Alright. Thanks Hotch. Do you guys have a case?"

"Not at the moment, we're riding the desk."

"Happy paper working!"

"Thanks." She could hear the amusement in his voice.

Hanging up the phone she quickly made sure that she hadn't missed any calls from Strauss; Riane could only imagine that the only thing worse than answering the woman's calls was having to call her herself. Locking the door Riane walked into the kitchen, the quiet was unnerving and she wasn't used to having nothing to do; even in the hospital there had always been something to pique her curiosity even if it had been drilling the nurses about medical procedure.

It didn't make sense for Strauss to be paying her a visit, not only was she not interested in Hotch in a romantic perspective but the FBI didn't have any rules that specifically prohibited dating other members of the FBI. That didn't even take into consideration how dangerous it was to be romantically involved with someone you worked with in such a dangerous capacity; she'd seen people do crazy things for those they loved and the last thing she needed to worry about was having someone trying to take a bullet for her.

The phone call came twenty minutes later. In typical Strauss fashion the phone call was brief and to the point and only last about three minutes. Riane had about an hour before the Section Chief showed up and about a half an hour before her children got home which didn't give her a lot of time to do anything. She was sill sweaty from the physio and as much as she wanted a shower it would have to wait. Using a wash cloth she used cool water to wash her face, neck, and arm before changing her clothes into something more presentable then what she'd had on.

She got a text from Heather giving her a ten minute warning as she was trying to find something quick for lunch.

She had the grilled cheese sandwiches in the pan on low when Heather knocked at the door. Thanking and paying the sitter for her time she flipped the sandwiches before getting everyone into their respective seats.

"Are you ready for some lunch?" Riane asked over her shoulder as she plated the food.

"No!"

She rolled her eyes, "Awesome. I'm so happy you learned that one Harry."

The boy laughed and reached out for her as she put his plate down. Kissing his forehead quickly she did the same for Nathanael and Atticus before grabbing her own sandwich. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she started eating because she was done the food in record time. Her boys on the other hand were busy switching between eating the food and playing with it. Putting what she could into the sink and loading all that was applicable into the dish washer Riane figured she had less than five minutes before Strauss showed up and given how organized the woman was Riane wouldn't have been surprised if she had a knock on her door that second.

As it happened Strauss didn't show up for another ten minutes which was useful but still wasn't enough time for everyone to finish lunch. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves she always had when dealing with an authoritative figure - except for apparently Hotch - and opened the door.

"Chief Strauss," she said. "Thank you for coming to me."

Strauss shook her head as Riane let her through the door, "Of course. I wouldn't ask you to come in in your condition, how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad actually. It's really just a matter of getting this cast off my arm and getting the muscles in my leg back into shape."

Strauss nodded, "That's good to hear."

Riane smiled and led Strauss into the living room. She anticipated the moment and almost laughed when she heard Strauss' shoes on the floor stop and a small 'oh' escape her.

Smothering a grin Riane turned to face the Section Chief. "Ma'am these are my children: Atticus, Nathanael and Harrison and in all honesty they were eating lunch but I'm not quite sure what's happening right now."

Out of the corner of her eye Riane could have sworn that she saw Strauss smirk but before she could really acknowledge the action it had passed. She knew that obviously Strauss wasn't always a hard ass desk jockey but Riane had never seen the softer side of the woman, she'd only heard about rare moments through what others had said.

"It's fine Agent Collins." Strauss said with a slight wave to the boys.

Riane grinned and nodded, "Boys why don't you say 'hi' to Chief Strauss?"

"No!"

"How about I swap you for some Canadian kids with manners?"

"No!"

Riane sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Of course. Ma'am I'm sorry."

When Riane looked over she could see Strauss visibly smiling and she shook her head dismissively. "Don't apologize, I know what you're going through. How old are they?"

"Fifteen months."

"Corrected date? I'm assuming of course that they were premature."

Riane's eyebrows shot into her hairline and she cleared her throat. "Actually yes. They're thirteen months corrected date."

"They seems to be doing very well."

Riane nodded quickly, "They are. I mean they're not talking or walking as well as an average fifteen month old and they don't have as many teeth but so far there haven't been any serious health concerns."

"Did you have to stay in hospital for long?"

"A little over a month. They were born at 33 weeks and weighed around three pounds each which is what I was told to expect. They were in the NICU for most of the month but by the time we left they were a little over five pounds and there weren't any dangerous medical conditions other than Harrison's jaundice which was gone in a month."

Strauss nodded, "That's not bad, I've heard some horror stories about multiple pregnancies."

Riane laughed, "They're all true believe me. Do you want anything to drink?"

When Strauss declined Riane showed her over to the living room so they could sit down while they talked. She was still in a mild state of shock that Strauss had asked her about the details of her pregnancy; most people weren't knowledgeable enough about multiple pregnancies to really be able to ask about how adversely they can affect the babies.

"I assume Agent Hotchner informed you as to the reason for my visit?"

Riane nodded slowly, "Yes ma'am. He called earlier and I can assure you that there isn't a romantic relationship between Hotch and myself."

"So I was told. I'm sure you're aware that officially I can't stop you from pursuing a romantic relationship should one happen but in my experience if the relationship ends badly it can have serious implications on the effectiveness of the team."

Riane inclined her head, "I understand completely. We had a couple instances of bad breakups when I worked in Iowa and it was just awkward for everyone. I mean and that was just a beat cop job so I can imagine the implications are compounded when speaking about the FBI."

Strauss seemed to relax a little, as if relieved by the prospect that she wasn't going to have to deal with a pair of love-sick agents. "I'm glad to hear that Agent Collins. I'm sorry we haven't had the chance to sit down and talk before this. I take it the BAU is treating you well?"

Riane grinned, "Extremely so. I'm very grateful and lucky to be working with such a talented group of people. Although I must admit that the content of the job is something I could live without."

When Strauss smiled softly Riane followed her line of view and saw Atticus falling asleep in his chair, his head bobbing before he woke himself up and looked around confused. Nathanael and Harrison having already fallen asleep, all three covered in bread crumbs and ketchup.

Riane chuckled and looked at her watch. "Sorry about that, it's nap time."

"Don't worry, I understand how important it is to maintain a schedule for children that young. I can come back at a time more convenient if that's fine with you."

Riane shook her head and stood up, "You don't have to do that. If you're okay with waiting I'll only be five minutes."

Strauss stood when Riane did, "That fine. Do you need help?"

"Oh no ma'am it's alright I couldn't ask you to-"

"You're not," Strauss interrupted. "I'm offering."

Riane smiled and nodded, "Help would be wonderful."

In the end it took the two of them over ten minutes to clean up the tired, fussy children; the whole time Riane watched in awe of how easy and comfortable Strauss was with the boys. People offered to help her all the time but as soon as Riane took them up on their offer it was easy to tell who had children and who didn't and from what she could see Strauss definitely had children Riane just wasn't sure how old they were.

It also never ceased to amaze her how trusting her children were. The last thing Riane had wanted was her children to grow up not knowing how to trust others but so far they seemed to have no problem with the team or Strauss which made Riane happy. Of course she was still going to teach her children about stranger danger but she was glad that she hadn't infected her children with her less than healthy sense of trust.

When they settled back in the living room Riane exhaled deeply. "Thank you for the help, having one arm makes everything difficult. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Strauss shook her head, "No. What do you want to ask?"

"You have children right?" Riane blurted out before realizing what she'd said. "What I _mean_ is that you were so natural with my kids so I just figured that you must have kids but I'm sorry if I offended you and I really don't mean to ramble…oh God."

Strauss chuckled softly, apparently amused by how flustered Riane was. "Yes I do have children. Two daughters and a son but their much older; it's been a long time since I had a toddler around the house."

Riane nodded, "I see. They must be very lucky, I can't imagine it was easy to raise three kids with your job."

"It's difficult but you learn to make it work. You seem to be doing well enough for yourself."

Riane shrugged, "So far I guess. I'm sure it'll get harder as they get older and understand better but for now it seems to be working."

Strauss nodded, "It's a balancing act and it's difficult for any new parent but you learn to cope and find a method that works best."

Riane listened to everything the older woman said with rapt attention. Since moving to Quantico the only other mother she'd met within the FBI had been J.J. and although she didn't doubt that J.J. had had to sacrifice a lot of time with her son to be dedicated to her job it wasn't quite the same because she had Will. Usually Riane didn't have anyone to help her so it was nice to hear advice from a mother who – judging from the lack of wedding ring – was also a single parent.

The two talked for another ten minutes and Riane got the feeling that the only reason Strauss was so chatty was because both Hotch and Riane had but to bed the idea of a blossoming romantic relationship. Left to her own devices Riane got busy straightening her house out. Although Hotch had kept the place as clean as possible there was still mopping and dusting to be done which kept her busy for another hour. When her children did wake up she kept them occupied by putting her copy of _The Prince Of Egypt _on. The fact that her children loved the movie was a great help because they watched it all the time and it made the Catholic in Riane proud because they didn't get the chance to go to mass regularly.

As they'd been doing paper work all day the team must have finished work at five because Hotch was home with Jack shortly after six. Riane was completely unprepared for the screaming that ensued when Hotch walked through the door. The movie was completely forgotten as the three boys tried to get to Hotch as fast as they could. As Riane watched Hotch crouch to greet the boys she couldn't help but remember Rossi's warning from her birthday party and she took a couple of deep breaths. If she could have picked any man on the face of the Earth for the father of her children she would have picked Hotch in an instant but she had a responsibility to remember who they were and to protect her children from as much heart ache as she could.

When Hotch was finally able to stand up again he smiled, "Hi."

She grinned, "Hey. How was work?"

He shrugged, "You know what it's like. Did Strauss stop by?"

"Yeah but don't worry, I told her what the specifics of our relationship was. She's really not that bad you know, we had a good conversation."

He nodded, "I'm glad. I don't know if she thought there was really anything to worry about but I think she just wanted to make sure."

"Who could blame her? I'm sure she'd got enough to deal with without having to worry about something so trivial."

Later that evening Riane lay awake in bed for what seemed like hours. The evening had gone by without incident but she couldn't help but fixate on how easy it was to live with Hotch. She hadn't lived with another human being since she'd moved out when she'd been twenty-one and she hadn't expected it to come so naturally. At work she'd always seen Hotch as a tightly wound man who worked too hard and poured his heart into all aspects of his life. However, she never imagined that he'd be so easy to get along with yet here she was letting this man into her life and more importantly into the lives of her children and she wasn't sure how to contain the situation. Sooner or later Hotch was going to leave and she was going to be alone again and so were her children and it was imperative that she protected them. She was grateful to Hotch for all that he had done but it didn't change the facts and Riane needed to find a way to prepare herself and her children for when there wasn't anyone to rely on anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N. **Hello! Thank you to everyone who had continued to show their support via reviews/favourite/alerts, you keep me motivated. College has been tough so I'm glad that I'm still updating! If anyone is getting annoyed with the fact that at least 1/3 of this story has ended with someone going to sleep you can join the party but never fear because that will be ending soon! With that being said if you like this chapter (and even if you don't) please read and review, and as always: enjoy.

* * *

Aaron had never been so confused by a personal relationship before. He'd thought that his relationship with Riane had been progressing – to where he wasn't sure – but now it seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him. For the past couple of days she hadn't interacted with him in any way other than what was necessary and even when she did talk to him she was cold and informal. Although she was never rude nor did she say anything that directly told him that something had disrupted their relationship he got the distinct feeling that something was wrong. They still hadn't had a case which only seemed to further worsen his situation because the team was tired of doing paper work and wanted some action which meant that at work everyone was antsy and when he came home he had to be on edge.

He sat at the dining table that morning and listened to the silence, it was Thursday which meant that Riane didn't have physical therapy so he didn't need to rush because he didn't have anything to do other than go to work. At the moment he didn't have anything to do other than to drink his coffee and look busy. Despite his best intentions however, he couldn't help but think of Riane; he wondered if insisting on living with her had been a bad idea. When he'd made the suggestion he hadn't know all the details…he still didn't know all of the precise details. All he did know was that Riane was regressing and he was to blame.

He looked up when he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. She didn't look at him when she entered but he couldn't help but notice that even after only two therapy sessions her reliance on her cane seemed to have lessened. It would be a while before she would be able to walk without it and even longer before she stopped limping but he had no doubt that she would make as fast a recovery as she could.

"Morning," he greeted.

When she smiled at him it didn't reach her eyes, "Morning Hotch."

She took a seat at the end of the table and got busy stirring her coffee. She completely ignored his existence and Hotch wasn't sure whether to be offended or just upset.

"We need to talk," he said quietly.

"I have nothing to say Hotch."

He sighed, "We can't continue like this. If I've done something to offend you in any way you need to tell me. Not only is it important because of what the situation is now but I need to know I can trust you when you come back to work."

Nothing was said for a few minutes and Hotch watched Riane stare into her cup of coffee while she thought through what he'd said.

"I can't Hotch. I just…can't."

"Riane…" He started but before he could say anything else she'd gotten up from the table and was heading back down the hall, the cup of coffee forgotten on the table.

He couldn't wrap his head around what was happening, try as he may he couldn't think of anything that had happened that would merit her sudden attitude change. Looking at his watch he reasoned that it wasn't too early to call Rossi; he just needed someone to talk to and Dave was the perfect man for the job.

Opening his phone he hit Dave's speed dial and waited for the older man to pick up.

"Dave?" He asked when the line picked up. "Can I come over?"

* * *

It took about an hour before Aaron finally arrived at Dave's mansion armed with a coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. When Dave answered the door Aaron handed them over with a grin.

"That much sugar this early in the morning cannot be good for you." Aaron said as he followed Dave through his home.

Rossi shrugged, "Compared to the amount of sugar Reid puts in his coffee I think I'm safe."

Hotch chuckled as he took a seat on one of Dave's various luxurious couches and Rossi did the same on the couch opposite him.

"So," Rossi said after taking a sip of his coffee. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

Rossi looked at him quizzically, "Well it's barely past seven and we don't have to be at work for at least another hour yet here you are sitting on one of my couches when you could be enjoying the morning with Jack."

Hotch leaned forward and clasped his hand in front of himself, "Riane told me what happened," he said finally.

Rossi nodded but didn't seem surprised, "This is a good thing right?"

Hotch sighed, "I thought it was but ever since then all she's done is push me away."

"We both know the psychological repercussions of rape on victims Hotch. I also wouldn't be surprised to find out that not only has Riane not searched out professional help but you might be one of the only people she's ever actually told keeping in mind that Reid figured it out so she never actually told us. We're looking at someone who's distrustful of men who's living with one who knows her deepest secret; not to mention the fact she has three children which changes the dynamic completely."

Hotch wrung his hands together, "I know that Dave, but I can't have someone on the team who's dealing with something like that. I have to think about the team and what's going to keep us effective as a unit."

Finishing his coffee Rossi put the empty cup down on the table, "Do you think you could convince her to get some help?"

Hotch shook his head, "I don't know. The math I've done tells me that she was raped in November 2011 which is just shy of two years ago and if she hasn't even acknowledged the event to its full capacity I don't know if she would now."

"You've said it yourself Aaron that you can't have someone on the team with this much baggage who is potentially unwilling to deal with what's happened to them. What choice do you have if you can't work with her?"

As much as Aaron hated the direction that Rossi was pointing the conversation in he could see the logic. In the past it had proved difficult to work with agents on his team when there had been a partial disagreement; there was no way the team would be able to function with someone who so unstable.

"I can't just fire her."

"It's not your job to fix her Aaron," Dave insisted.

"She has three kids _Dave._" Hotch countered.

Rossi's eyes narrowed and he leaned in, "Just what is going on with you two Hotch? I get that she's a friend and all but this is insane, you can't go on like this."

Hotch shook his head, "It is _not _like that Dave."

"Really Aaron? Explain what it's like then."

When Aaron shook his head Rossi sighed, "I'm not trying to put you on the defensive Aaron and I don't care if you want a relationship with Riane because God knows you both deserve one-"

"It's not like that."

Rossi smirked, "So you keep saying. There's plenty of victims of sexual assault who are able to move on with their lives and have successful romantic relationships."

"I know that Dave but I couldn't even save my marriage and there was nothing like this hanging between our relationship."

"I hate to say it Aaron but Haley wanted more than you could give her. I understand that she was entitled to a normal life and marriage but you couldn't have ever given her one without leaving the BAU."

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose, he didn't want to think about Haley. He went out of his way to purposely not think about Haley because it had only been two years and his chest still burned when he thought about her.

"This is almost worse," Aaron said. "Now we're talking about four children and two absent parents."

Rossi nodded, "At least we're talking about it. I know your situation, but you're both single parents regardless and you have to admit that it's been easier with Riane helping you out."

"It's also easier when you take Jack out to a ball game but no offense Dave I'm not about to take you out on a date."

Rossi laughed, "Thanks Aaron. But you have to admit that there's something between you two. She trusts you but it seems like neither of you are willing to acknowledge that there's something there."

"But she doesn't trust me Dave, not really. I don't think she trusts anyone fully."

Aaron glanced down at his watch to buy himself some time. He had no intention of admitting that he was interested in Riane in a romantic way because he wasn't sure if he was. There was a difference between being attracted to someone physically and being attracted to someone because of who they were. And he did find Riane attractive but it wasn't like J.J. or Emily weren't also attractive although he would never even think about either woman in a romantic perspective.

"We should get going," Hotch said effectively ending the conversation,

Rossi shrugged and followed Hotch out to his car, "You can avoid this as much as you like but despite whatever is going on between you two you still trusted her enough to leave Jack with her."

* * *

Riane sat against the closed door of her bedroom. Jack, Atticus, Nathanael, and Harrison were in the living room and when she had left them the four of them had been playing with some race cars and Lego. Earlier she'd promised to take them to the park after the boys had their nap but the closer it came to noon the less she felt like leaving the house. She just felt empty; she was upset and angry and it didn't matter who was around, how much sleep she'd gotten, or what time it was she just never felt happy.

She also hated that she was pushing Hotch away. All she'd wanted to do was put some distance between them but what she'd managed to do was completely destroy their professional and personal relationship. He'd been right that morning when he'd said that they couldn't continue as they were and that was her fault. She thought that getting back to a strict professional relationship was what would be best but she missed the Aaron Hotchner she'd come to know over the past almost six weeks. He was so different when he wasn't at work and Riane liked that side of him, the side that had taken care of her children when she'd been in the hospital and the side that had listened without judgment when she'd explained her past.

She just couldn't shake the feeling she had that told her to keep Hotch at arm's length. She didn't want to mislead him into thinking that she was interested in him sexually, she couldn't handle a romantic relationship. Silas Donovan had left her body riddled with scars but so had her pregnancy: stretch marks and her caesarian scar just served to further degrade her body and her confidence. Which was fine for Riane because the less attractive she looked to men the better it was for her; before Donovan she'd had three serious relationships that had lasted for longer than three years and they'd all ended badly and now that she had to look out for her children the last thing she needed was a boyfriend.

Getting up off the floor proved easier said than done but she didn't doubt that without the physio she would have never been able to do it. Her doctor had told her that the cast on her arm would be able to come off as early as the end of the following week which was a blessing, she'd never realized how lucky she was to have had two functional hands and arms until she only had one.

Going back out to the living room Riane couldn't help but smile as she watched the four boys play. The triplets played well together for the most part but they _loved _Jack. It was difficult to let them play with whoever they wanted at the park because it was hard to keep track of where everyone was and as a consequence of that Riane found that it was a lot easier to just play with them in the backyard. As much as she felt back because they didn't get to interact with other children as much there were usually other children at Heather's and they always had each other.

That coupled with the fact that Riane planned to enroll them in pre-school as soon as they were potty trained and old enough.

Jack seemed to enjoy his makeshift role as the older brother as well. There were definitely times when the toddlers annoyed Jack but when he got frustrated he usually got up and did something else. Riane had never seen him get angry enough to throw things or get physical which was reassuring.

It still never ceased to amaze her how much Jack was like his father. Not necessarily physically, his hair was lighter than Hotch's – presumably from Haley Hotchner but his personality was like his father's. Riane could see Hotch's strength and wisdom in Jack, something she knew should have come with years but had been forced upon the six year old as a result of past events. Just as there was strength and wisdom there was also a kindness and capacity to love that Riane adored. It wasn't just the innocence that came with being young but it was also the compassion that Jack had demonstrated with Riane and her sons. It's what put her at ease when she had to do chores and let Jack and the boys play, she knew that Jack was every bit as protective and loyal as his father.

"Miss Riane look I made a plane!"

Riane laughed when she looked at the contraption that Jack was holding up; made out of Legos the structure didn't exactly fall into the category or aircraft but there was a resemblance.

"It looks amazing Jack, where is the plane going?"

The boy shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe California."

Riane shook her head in amusement, "California huh? How about we start in the kitchen with some lunch first?"

Jack beamed, "Sure!"

In the end they had gone to the park later in the afternoon and it had been a fantastic way for everyone to get some air and relax. Ever the helper Jack had stayed by Riane's side helping her to push swings and get toys until she'd insisted that he go off and play.

She'd hadn't had to tell him twice.

The team was still trying to catch up on a couple of weeks' worth of paper work, something Riane was glad to be missing. She'd got a message from Morgan earlier with a video of what she could only assume was the result of him replacing the sugar with salt so that when Reid went to drink his coffee with five teaspoons of 'sugar' he'd gotten quite the surprise. As much as she didn't necessarily miss the job she really did miss the team.

Riane had just been lasagna out of the oven when Hotch walked through the door. His presence in her home seemed to alter her mood instantaneously and she felt her temporary calm shift to anxiety. Putting the pan down she took a deep breath as she heard him approach from behind.

"How was your day?" She asked without turning around.

"You know what it's like. I think one more day of work should get us all caught up and we can start taking cases again. The pile of J.J.'s desk is so tall you can barely see her through it."

Riane grinned, "I'm sure she appreciates being able to go home to Henry and Will at a decent time."

"Daddy we went to the park!" Jack called from the hall entrance.

Riane plated the food while Jack animatedly retold their adventure at the park, it was aweing to hear what had been almost a tedious task for her be something so exciting to a six year old. As much as she enjoyed the fresh air, sunshine, and time with her children the park was a noisy, child-ridden danger at the best of time.

She still couldn't shake the awkwardness that hung over her and Hotch during dinner although Jack didn't seem to notice it as he chatted about how much he was going to be able to tell his friends when he went back to school in two weeks. Jack laughed like a hyena when he saw what the triplet's version of eating lasagna was and even though Riane dreaded the idea of getting tomato sauce out of shirts and brushing bits of ground beef out of hair it was a moment of levity that was desperately needed.

After everything (and everyone) was cleaned up following dinner Riane decided to let everyone play in the backyard to blow off some steam. Jack Hotchner seemed to have an aptitude for working her kids up and it was a nice evening so she saw no harm in going out for an hour or so. Sitting in one of the deck chair Riane was tempted to shift her chair away from Hotch's but she wasn't in the mood to argue with him. She had no way of explaining why she was so confused and angry she just knew she'd never been in such a conflict with what she wanted but didn't want.

"Riane," Hotch said softly.

She sighed, "Hotch please not right now."

"No," he agreed. "But we do need to talk, _really _talk."

She bit her lip, the prospect of a 'talk' with the man terrified her. Over the past six months she hadn't really had to talk to him alone many times but he was intimidating.

"Okay" she acquiesced. "But later."

She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye and relaxed into her chair a little more. A small part of her hoped that her talk with Hotch would help her to sort her mind out but she doubted it would, she doubted anything would.

The closer it got to bedtime the more anxiety Riane felt. By the time she put the boys down for the night her anxiety had made them restless and cranky. Jack had settled into his room for the night and Hotch was in there with him finishing off _Percy Jackson And The Lightening Thief_; everyday Riane got to look forward to a summary of the chapter or two Jack and his father had read the night before and truth be told Riane was interested to hear how the book ended.

Riane was finishing some last minute dishes when Hotch finally emerged from his son's room.

"Jack wants to start the second one tomorrow night," Hotch said as he took a seat at the table.

"How many are there?"

"Five"

"That'll keep you busy for a while."

Hotch nodded but didn't say anything as Riane finished the dishes and took a seat across from him. The atmosphere seemed to change almost immediately, a cloak of seriousness settling over the table.

Looking at her hands Riane shrugged, "I really don't know what to say."

"I think you need help."

Her head snapped up, "Excuse me?"

He sighed, "Riane obviously bringing up everything that's happened has triggered something negative. I think it would be in your best interest-"

"_My _best interest? Hotch what the hell? There's nothing wrong with me!"

"I didn't say there was…but you need to consider what I'm saying; the vast majority of rape victims seek psychological help and it is very beneficial."

She shook her head, "I don't need help. I don't"

He splayed his hands out on the table, "Sleep disturbances, feelings of anger, avoidance of physical intimacy or sexual situations, intense emotions, fears about safety."

"What are you doing?"

"Am I getting close?" He asked. "These things are experienced in whole or in part by all victims of rape and sexual assault. Those who seek help after the event have a higher likelihood of recovery than those who don't"

She smirked, "Are you seriously trying to throw statistics at me? Really? Alright here's a statistic for you: Mothers who live with a man who isn't the father of her children leave the children thirty-three times more likely for abuse."

She could see him freeze and she almost wanted to apologize and take what she'd said back but instead she held her ground.

After a moment he spoke quietly, "You're suspended until further notice."

She stared at him for a moment before what he'd said sank in, "You're suspending me?"

"When does your cast come off?"

She shook her head, "Next week. You're suspending me?"

Pushing his chair back Hotch stood slowly, "Yes. I'm sorry but I can't have someone on the team who isn't in control of themselves. You can't come back for another couple of months regardless so I suggest you start looking for some help. As soon as your cast if off Jack and I will leave."

Riane watched as Hotch walked away, unable to say anything. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had just managed to ruin a good thing; she didn't feel angry any longer, she just felt guilty and upset. She knew she'd gone too far with that abuse statistic, she hadn't even believed the words she'd said because she _knew _Hotch didn't have an abusive bone in his body.

But he had suspended her. Not only was she not allowed to work because she couldn't do any field work but she wouldn't even be able to work in the office, and all because Hotch thought she needed psychiatric help. She knew he wasn't wrong; she wasn't stupid or ignorant, she was afraid. After what seemed like forever Riane finally got up and turned the lights off and locked the door. Letting herself into the triplet's room she watched them sleep, they were so peaceful and innocent it made her want to cry. Relaxing as best she could into the rocking chair Riane let the motion clear her mind enough for sleep.

* * *

Last chapter I stated that there was no rule against inter-team fraternization, my reference can be found in the thesis _A Comparison of Department of Defense and Private Sector Fraternization Policies _by Jeffrey L. Frye, Captain, USAF.

**Attention to all CM fanfiction writers/readers: **The 2013 Profiler Choice Awards have started! For more information take the spaces out of the link below!

/ topic / 141001 / 96466893 / 1 / Profiler - Choice - Awards - 2013

[This is the last part after the end of the unaltered URL ]


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N. **So I don't really know what to say about this chapter. Originally this was supposed to have more content but it got too long so I had to cut it off. Things are getting a little heavier, and I think chapter 10 is a good place to. Anyways! If you like this chapter – and even if you don't – please read and review. As always, enjoy.

Things in _italics _are past events/quotes.

* * *

Riane flexed the recently unused muscles in her left hand and arm. The strain hurt and she wasn't as strong as she had been but it felt good to be able to function with some degree of normality. It would take a while to build the muscle strength back up but time was one thing Riane seemed to have more than enough of.

True to his word Hotch and Jack had begun to pack almost as soon as he'd picked her up from the hospital. Although they hadn't talked much since their confrontation the week before it had been melancholic to see them go and Jack hadn't seemed too happy about the move. She made a promise to him that he could come over whenever he wanted and that the boys would always love to go to the park. There was only a little over a week left before Jack had to go back to school so she was sure Hotch would be busy with back to school shopping but Jack was a great kid and she hadn't minded having him around in the slightest.

Her house had felt surprisingly empty after they'd gone, the building was almost tangibly colder without the bubbly six year old and his loving father. She'd almost forgotten how hard it was to keep three toddlers occupied because Jack had always been willing to play and Riane hadn't had to do much on that front. Her children seemed to have tripled their energy levels since the last time she'd been well enough to actually get down and play with them and she was ready for a nap long before they were.

By the evening it had become evident the triplet's had begun to notice Hotch and Jack's absence. Dinner had been a mess of tears, whimpering, frustration, and uneaten food. In the end she'd had to resort to dessert just to get them to eat something and even that hadn't been entirely successful.

Trying to get them to bed had been a nightmare. Harrison insisted on being rocked, Atticus didn't want to be rocked but wanted to be held and Nathanael had no intention of going to sleep. No one got to sleep before midnight and even then Riane didn't manage to get any sleep because someone was up every hour until four when she finally managed to get a couple hours of sleep. Anticipating that no one would feel like eating much breakfast she figured that pancakes were her best bet on the food front. Heather had agreed to take the kids for the entire day so that after her physical therapy Riane would be able to get in touch with her insurance about replacing her car; with both hands at her disposal again she was able to drive as long as she used her right foot alone.

Riane watched Nathanael eat his pancake with his fingers and made a face, "Maple Syrup and toddlers…now tell me Nathanael, where did I go wrong?"

The boy looked up at her while sucking on his fingers and she smirked, "Tasty fingers?"

The cooing she got back in response made her roll her eyes. Breakfast clean-up was not fun but at least everyone had eaten without the need for bribery and coercion. Heather was kind enough to come pick the boys up which gave Riane enough time to catch the early bus to the hospital. She wasn't exactly all that happy to have to spend the day dealing with insurance agents but it was the first step to getting her life back on track so she was more than willing to try. It gave her something to do other than feel guilty about and sulk.

She'd yet to begin to look for a psychiatrist, she just couldn't bring herself to do so. She knew that she could get some help through work but she wouldn't be able to face her coworkers if they found out. It's not that she thought they would judge her but she couldn't shake the feeling that it would make her look weak. She also wouldn't be able to face Hotch long enough to ask for help, she just hoped that things between them would go back to normal but she doubted that would happen without intervention. Looking up when her physical therapist called her name Riane got ready for another hour of physical hell.

* * *

Aaron got to work a half an hour early that morning; despite his best intentions he couldn't stop thinking about Riane. It was part of the reason he'd made an effort to get to work early, he'd hoped that getting some paperwork done would take his mind off things he didn't want to think about. He knew without looking at the clock that Riane would be at her physical therapy session, she always booked the appointments early because she wanted to spend as much time with her children as possible.

Giving his head a good shake he tried to physically clear the thoughts out of his head so he could concentrate. After all it wasn't his fault that Riane had pushed him away, he'd been left with no choice but to suspend her, if she came back and she wasn't okay she could put his team and innocent lives at risk. As the Unit Chief Aaron couldn't take that risk, however as soon as she handed him a signed return to duty he'd be more than happy to let her back on the team. Whatever personal difficulties they were having could be dealt with when the time arose but no matter which way he looked at it she was a good agent and an asset to the team.

He didn't bother looking up when he heard the knock at his door. "Come in," he answered.

"New case boss man. Denver, Colorado has had five women go missing in the past two months."

He looked up quizzically, "Why do they need our help?"

She grimaced, "Because all the women were buried alive with a cell phone and enough air to make one last phone call?"

He frowned, "Is everyone here yet?"

"No. Unfortunately not everyone is as get-up-and-go as you and I are in the morning. But I've emailed the case out to everyone so we can quickly brief when they get here."

"Thanks Garcia."

"You're very welcome sir," Penelope replied before slipping back out of the office.

"Oh!" She said sticking her head back in the door, "How's Riane?"

The question took Hotch off guard and it took him a moment to remember why he would be asked about Riane's well-being.

Nodding his head he replied, "Last time I saw her she was well on the way to recovery."

Garcia beamed, "Good because I miss her! How are the little guys?"

"They're doing fine. I'm sure they're running her ragged now that she's got both her arms back."

Garcia laughed, "I'm going to call her right away and offer my servitude. Those boys are just too cute!"

Hotch chuckled as Garcia went to make sure everything in the BAU room was ready for when the rest of the team arrived. Giving up on his paperwork Aaron quickly skimmed over the details of the case which were ready and waiting on his tablet. Although he'd never admit it Garcia finding the funding to get the team tablets was a blessing in disguise; his office was home to so many files filled with paper it was good to have something that was paperless.

True to her word Garcia's overview of the case was brief and to the point. Hotch wasn't looking forward to the case they were about to start, there were going to be five grieving husbands who would all want answers and want them quickly. Hotch was grabbing his go-bag when Rossi appeared in the doorway.

"Morning," Rossi greeted.

"Morning," Hotch said slowly as he shot Dave a questioning look.

When Dave said nothing more Hotch glanced at his watch and set his bag down on his desk. "Wheels up in twenty Dave. I can't read your mind."

"You don't have to read my mind to know why I'm here. Did you talk to Riane?"

Hotch sighed, "I wouldn't have defined it as a 'talk' but yes."

Rossi arched an eyebrow, "Well what would you define it as?"

Hotch shrugged, "More realistically it was an argument."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know Dave…It just wasn't a productive conversation: she shut down, got defensive, and said some things I'm sure she regrets but still hurt at the time. Either way we don't have time for this right now, we have a case to solve."

Dave nodded, "Fine. We can talk after we get back. Are you going to call her and let her know we're leaving state?"

"There's no need. I moved out yesterday. Jack's staying with Jessica until I get back."

Dave exhaled heavily, "We're definitely talking when we get back."

Hotch smirked and grabbed his bag closing the door behind them, "Two heads are better than one I guess."

* * *

Riane all but collapsed through the door when she finally got home. It wasn't that she was particularly tired she was just tired of having to deal with bureaucrats. Trying to get in touch with someone about getting a new vehicle was almost as delightful as a root canal in her opinion and she was glad that she worked in the field most of the time. In the end J.J. had been right about dropping the Federal Agent bomb; as soon as she'd mentioned it things had gone much smoother. It almost made her feel bad for the regular citizens who had to jump through hoops to get something like a dent in their bumper fixed.

Of course she'd still have to wait for her insurance company to sort itself out and because she hadn't totalled a federally owned vehicle they weren't in as much of a rush but as long as she got a vehicle before winter everything would be fine.

Rummaging through the fridge for something to make for dinner Riane quickly came to the conclusion that grocery shopping was definitely in order. With dinner in the oven she found herself with some time to kill but nothing to kill it with. Pulling out her phone she dialed Garcia's number and leaned back against the counter.

"Penny G ruler of all things binary at your service."

Riane laughed, "Hey Penelope."

"Riane! How are you? How are those beautiful bundles of joy of yours?"

"I'm good and they're growing every day. It's amazing really I could swear they're going to be taller than me before they're five."

There was a whine on the other end of the line, "Too cute! I miss you, when are you coming back?"

"I miss you too Garcia – all of you. I'm not too sure when I'll be able to come back, it probably won't be before the end of the year but you're always welcome to come and visit."

"Oh you're going to regret that. I would come over now if we weren't working a case."

Riane frowned, "There's a case?"

"Yeah but sweetie believe me you do _not_ want to know."

Riane inclined her head, "No I guess not…"

"Oh," there was a momentary pause on the end of the line. "Didn't the boss man tell you? Oh, I didn't just step into the middle of something did I? Because I do that a lot, and I never realize unless someone tells me so if I stepped in something please tell me-"

"Penelope, Penelope stop," Riane laughed. "You're fine."

"Really fine?" Garcia asked.

"Really really fine," Riane teased. "But things would always be better if you wanted to come for a visit."

"I'll be there way faster than a Hotch Rocket after this case is solved!"

Riane smirked, "Sounds like a plan. So this case…it's bad?"

Penelope exhaled heavily, "Tres bad ma amie. Dead wives, grieving husbands and bad guys."

She grimaced. "Well thanks for letting me know Garcia I appreciate it. So what's new in your life? We can talk right? Until you get something to hack?

Garcia laughed, "Of course we can talk and boy do I have some stories for you…"

Riane settled onto the couch as she prepared to listen to Garcia's tales, knowing Garcia she was going to be occupied for a _long _time.

* * *

Aaron Hotchner was miserable. They'd been in Denver for eighteen hours when he'd ordered everyone to go back to the hotel and rest, by that time no one had been particularly useful anyways despite copious amounts of coffee. The case was horrific – at least more so than normal. Their current Unsub was getting off my kidnapping, raping, and then burying married women alive with a cell phone; which of course the women immediately used to call and say good-bye to their husbands. Palming the centre of his chest he fought for breath as he was assaulted with violent flash backs about the last time he'd talked to Haley.

"_Promise me that you will tell him how we met, and how you used to make me laugh."_

"Haley…" He whispered aloud.

"_He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron. I want him to believe in love, because it... it is the most important thing... but you need to show him. Promise me!"_

The gunshot that reverberated in his head sounded so current that he flinched. He knew exactly what the men were going through, and it made staying objective for the case harder than he ever thought it would.

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts and he reluctantly got up and opened the door to his hotel room.

"Hey J.J." he said with a note of surprise. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

She smirked, "Why aren't you?"

Inclining his head in defeat he moved to let J.J. into the room and shut the door. Instead of taking a seat like he'd thought she would J.J. turned back to face him after walking a few feet into the room.

"So…" J.J. said quietly. "How are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I thought maybe this case was bringing back some bad memories. You know…about Haley and Foyet."

He frowned, he couldn't deny it especially to someone who had come close to losing their loved ones. "Yes." He said quietly. "It is hard."

"You know you don't have to hide that from us. Everyone understands that this is hard for you."

"Be that as it may it's still harder for the husbands and I need to do my job."

"You will," J.J. insisted. "Just don't be too hard on yourself."

He smiled softly, "Thanks J.J. Get some sleep okay?"

"You too Hotch. Night."

Aaron nodded his head in thanks before J.J. left to go back to her own room. Sighing deeply Aaron preoccupied himself with getting ready for bed even if he wasn't sure how much sleep he would be getting. Settling down into bed after he'd changed, brushed his teeth, and made sure the door was locked and the lights were off he couldn't seem to shut his mind off. Because of the late hour and the two hour time difference he hadn't been able to call Jack which upset him because he really could have used a conversation with his son even if it was only to hear the sound of the six year old's voice.

Reluctantly setting down his phone the bedside table Aaron prayed that his dreams weren't plagued with visions of his dead wife and terrified son.

* * *

David Rossi filled two glasses appropriately with some of the finest brandy he owned, he always kept the good stuff at work because that seemed to be when he needed it the most. It also came in handy when he was having a late night meeting with the team after the end of a particularly difficult case. Such was the situation that night.

They'd been in Denver, Colorado for a little over seven days and although Dave had wanted to talk to Aaron the day they'd gotten back Aaron hadn't had the time with all the back to school shopping and the first day back to school that had turned the single father into a human hurricane.

Aaron said nothing when he came into the room and Rossi silently pushed the glass of amber liquid towards him. It wouldn't have mattered even if the case hadn't been that bad the poor man deserved a break more than anyone he knew. Rossi watched the younger man take a large sip before relaxing a bit into the chair. Dave had known Aaron long enough to know that if he pushed all Aaron would do was shut down; on the flip side if he was patient enough the Unit Chief would eventually begin to talk.

"She accused me of abusing her children." He said finally

Dave choked on the brandy he'd been swallowing, "What?"

Aaron sighed, "Not in so many words but she definitely thought it was a possibility."

Dave cleared his throat before continuing, "What exactly did she say?"

"She said that women who lived with a man who wasn't the father of her children left them thirty-three times more susceptible for abuse."

Dave shook his head slowly, "Aaron that's not the same thing at all."

"Isn't it?" Aaron asked.

"No. Aaron you're a profiler you know what even the smallest words can mean in the right context. That's a statistic, it's something people use to protect themselves and you know that."

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned forward in his chair, "I can't seem to get through to her Dave. All we do is argue, we don't talk for days and then we do some more arguing."

"Sounds like my second marriage."

The look Aaron gave him clearly stated that he was not amused, and Dave felt sorry for his friend who truly seemed to be at a crossroads with his current problem.

"Look," Rossi said. "For this to work there's really only one question you need to answer."

Aaron's questioning gaze prompted Dave to continue.

"Do you want a relationship with Riane?" Rossi's words were slow and concise.

When Aaron shot him an incredulous look and began to protest Dave put a hand out to stop him.

"Aaron stop. I'm not talking about sex. In fact, I'm not even touching that because I don't need to explain how much that isn't a current possibility. I mean a real relationship that in some ways would be harder than the hardships you went through with Haley because we both know that it's going to be a long trip down before things start to look up.

"That woman has three young children who are _always _going to be her number one priority and yes she has a lot to work through but we both know that some help could make things better in leaps and bounds and she probably won't want to go through it alone. I'm not promising that everything is okay but you should at least try."

"Dave…" Aaron let his sentence drop off, unable to find the words to voice what he was feeling.

"What is it Aaron? What's holding you back? And don't even try to tell me that it's a work thing because no one is believing that."

"Yes."

"Yes?" Rossi queried.

Aaron's voice echoed in the silent room, "Yes."

* * *

Aaron drove to Riane's house in a daze, when he'd gotten into his car he had meant to drive home but Jack was sleeping at a friend's house for the night and he didn't want to go home to an empty house.

He still couldn't believe what he'd said to Dave. He'd blatantly admitted to the man that he wanted a relationship with Riane but he still wasn't sure that he knew entirely what that meant. When he'd met Haley everything had been so easy; they'd been young and had thrown all caution to the wind in the pursuit of love. Over the years when things had gotten difficult a trip down memory lane had always served to bring a smile to their faces.

Jogging up to the door he knocked lightly on the door; the kitchen lights were still on but he doubted that the triplets would be awake and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin her night by waking her children.

The door opened to reveal a confused looking Riane. "Hotch?" She asked.

He smiled weakly, "Can I come in?"

She sighed, "Hotch it's late and the boys are-"

"Sleeping," he finished. "I know, I know. It won't take long."

She deliberated silently for a moment before holding the door open and beckoning him into her home. Stepping inside with a small feeling of triumph he waited for her to close the door before he started to speak again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

She arched an eyebrow, "Better. How was the case?"

"Hard. We got back three days ago."

"I know," she said and quickly continued at Hotch's amused look. "I know because Garcia told me, she was actually here today."

Aaron smirked, "I'm sure that was fun."

"It was…the boys really seem to like her."

Aaron nodded as they lapsed into silence and he tried to sort out what he wanted to say. He couldn't very well just come out and say what he wanted to, it would be awkward and he'd be out the door faster than he could apologize.

"Hotch, I'm sorry but it's late and I'm tired…"

"Did Garcia mention what the case was about?" He asked abruptly.

She frowned, "Yeah. Those poor women…I can't even imagine what their husbands went through."

"I can," he said simply. "All I could think about was my wife and our last phone call."

She covered her mouth with her hand when the realization hit her. She didn't know every detail of the Boston Reaper case but she knew that he'd killed Hotch's wife while they'd been on the phone.

"_Oh_… Hotch I didn't even think. God I'm so sorry."

He looked down at the ground, squeezing his eyes closed and shaking his head to try and remind himself of his purpose.

"Thank you," he whispered before clearing his throat.

"It brought it all back to be so close to a similar situation but in a way I anticipated that. What I didn't anticipate was you."

She froze, and for a moment he wanted to take it all back, get into his car and leave but he knew he'd come too far to back down. He was taking a risk that could ruin their relationship but if he left whatever they had would be destroyed; lost in the confusion of potential and what would never be.

"What?" Her question was nothing more than a breathless whisper.

"I know this isn't fair and I _know _you don't deserve this but I can't…I want to be with you Riane."

Somehow during his declaration he'd gotten closer to her, close enough to see the disbelief and confliction in her eyes as she stared at him. He wished she'd say something, anything. Even if it was just to tell him to get out.

Her mouth opened but she seemed to struggle for words, silence continuing to fill the space between them.

"Straus," she breathed. "You told Strauss there was nothing between us."

"I know," he said. "And I meant it, I did. For six months I just ignored every thought I ever had about you that wasn't strictly professional but then you had your accident and the last two months have made everything different."

She shook her head, "No no no. Aaron this isn't…you…_we_…oh"

Capturing her face between his hands he smiled softly. "It's okay," he whispered.

And he kissed her.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N. **Hello everyone! Wow it feels like a long time since I've put a chapter up, school is getting busy so I can't do as much writing – especially not with midterms. But I'm back now (hopefully) and I would like to thank everyone for reviewing/favouriting/following this story, it means a lot and it keeps me motivated. Please read and review, I always want to know what you're thinking. Enjoy.

* * *

The moment Hotch kissed her Riane's mind went blank. Bringing her hands up she automatically pushed him away, struggling for breath. She briefly recognized the look of shock and concern on Hotch's face but any and all words spoken were drowned out by the roaring of the blood in her ears. Her body felt numb as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand and tried to breathe through the burning in her lungs.

Backing up until she felt the refrigerator door against her back she sunk the ground slowly. Staring at her hands she tried to figure out when they'd become so…_dirty_. It was everywhere; her hands, arms, her stomach and hair. The worst part was that it was _inside_ her, how could she wash that away? She couldn't scrub the filth off of her insides, she could only try and make the outside clean…she had to be clean so that she didn't contaminate anyone else.

She looked up at Hotch, who had since crouched down, and stared at him. He had touched her, he would be dirty too.

"Clean," she said in a hoarse voice.

Hotch's brow furrowed, "What? Riane are you alright?"

"Clean," she repeated. "You need to be clean…I didn't mean to…_oh_, I need to be clean too. So dirty."

"Riane," when he reached out for her she instinctively backed into the fridge.

"No!" She shouted. "You can't you'll get dirty."

She didn't hear anything else he had to say, shaking her head back and forth repeatedly she pushed herself up to her feet and stumbled down the hall. Once she got to the bathroom she turned to tap on, turning the tap on at hot as the water would go she began to scrub, determined to get clean again.

* * *

Emily Prentiss settled down into bed for the night with the latest book she'd picked up at the airport. She never read murder mysteries – she got more than enough at work, but she did enjoy the odd romance novel or like the one she'd just started, a tragedy. Something about the happy sadness of a tragedy drew Emily in every time.

That and the fact that she always tried to read the book before the movie came out.

She'd just started the fifth page when her cell phone rang, glaring at the vibrating device she set a silent prayer up to whoever was listening that it was not a case. Denver had been a horrific case and Emily had been more than willing to decide the man's punishment by the time they finally got a confession.

Answering the phone she put it to her ear, "Prentiss."

"Emily? It's Hotch. I need your help."

* * *

As Emily parked at the curb in front of Riane's house she couldn't keep her curiosity at bay. Hotch hadn't told her anything about the situation other than the fact that it had concerned Riane and it had been urgent. She could tell over the phone that Hotch was trying to keep calm, his voice always wavered when he was trying to hide something. If she'd been in the same room as him Emily would have put money on the fact that he'd looked at the ground; that had been the tell that Emily hadn't been willing to tell him at J.J.'s wedding.

Hotch answered the door on her second knock and Emily had to take a moment before she said anything.

"Hotch?" She asked cautiously.

He swallowed and opened the door for her to enter. Stepping inside, she looked around for Riane and arched an eyebrow when the woman was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Riane?"

Hotch sighed, "The bathroom. I need you to go and see if she's alright."

She furrowed her brow, "Me? Why?"

"I kissed her."

Emily felt her eyebrows skyrocket, "I'm sorry?"

He shook his head, "I know but I think I've brought back memories of her rape. She's convinced she's unclean and she's locked herself in the bathroom. I guess she's trying to clean herself but she won't answer to me."

Emily frowned, "Textbook sexual abuse." She sighed, "I can go and try to talk to her. Is the door locked?"

"No. Thanks Emily."

Emily nodded once before walking down the hallway, she followed the sound of running water until she found the source and knocked on the door once; it might have not been locked but if she walked in and Riane was as bad as Hotch said she was…

"Riane?" She called. "Riane it's Emily, can I come in?"

Emily strained to see if she could hear anything over the water but gave up after a moment, even if Riane had responded the rushing water would have drowned it out. Pushing the door open gently she found that the sound of the water was much louder inside the bathroom than outside.

It took a moment for Emily's eyes to adjust to the room through the steam but when they did adjust they focused on Riane in the bath tub. Sitting in the tub, her clothes were soaked through completely; her hair and clothes sticking to her although she didn't seem to notice. From the steam filling the room Emily could tell that the water must have been burning her skin, but what really sent red flags up in Emily mind was the blood. Riane had scratched at the skin on her arms until they were bloodied and raw and even that didn't seem to stop her; she seemed completely unaware that Emily had even entered the room.

"Riane?" Emily called softly as she reached over and grabbed a towel from the rack.

When she didn't get an answer Emily turned the tap off and sat down on the edge of the tub, looking at Riane with eyes filled with concern. Even with the water off Riane said nothing and Emily's heart broke as she watched her friend rock back and forth with her hand covering her ears and her eyes screwed shut.

As gently as possible Emily draped the towel over Riane's shoulders, no matter how hot the water had been it wouldn't do her any good to watch a cold.

"No please!" Riane begged as she cowered into the tub wall desperately, still caught in whatever delusion Hotch had initiated.

"Riane please open your eyes. It's Emily…no one's going to hurt you."

There was a sharp knock on the door before Emily saw Hotch peak his head in. There was a brief flash of guilt and concern on his face before he became stoic again, years of practice having taught him to be calm in difficult situations.

The look on his face conveyed his purpose behind the check-in and Emily shook her head, it was going to take a while before Riane calmed down enough to be moved and dried off.

"I think," he said quietly. "I think I'm going to ask Garcia and Morgan to watch the boys for the night…"

She nodded, looking quickly at her friend crying and trembling in the wet tub.

"It's for the best." She answered sadly. Even if Riane could fully understand what was happening Emily doubted that she would have consented to separating from her children. Even if Emily had only seen the woman with her children once it wasn't uncommon for victims of rape to devote their whole lives to their children; it gave them a purpose and kept them from falling apart.

Hotch nodded once before closing the door behind him and Emily assumed that he was off to go contact the technical analysis and her favourite 'piece of dark chocolate'. Focusing her attention back on Riane Emily tried to think of some way to get through to the woman.

Trying to make eye contact Emily spoke, "Hey Riane? Hotch is going to take triplets to Penelope's and she and Derek are going to look after them for tonight. Is that okay?"

Before Emily could react Riane's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist in a vice grip tight enough to make Emily grimace.

"Riane-" she started.

"No please," Riane begged and the desperation in her voice made Emily cringe. "Please don't take my children."

Emily watched Riane's shoulder shake as she tried to maintain her fragile composure. It made Emily want to personally strangle Silas Donovan; no one but Donovan himself deserved the pain that Riane was suffering through.

Emily shook his head, "Riane it's just for the night. They can come back in the morning but you need some rest."

Just when Emily thought that she finally got through to Riane she heard a child's cry from across the hall and the next thing she knew her arms were locked around Riane who was scrambling to get out of the tub.

"Riane _please_ stop," Emily pleaded.

After a couple more moments of struggling Riane finally gave up and clung to Emily as she sobbed. Not knowing what else to do Emily continued to hug her newest friend as Riane begged for her children in between breaths. She couldn't believe that all the commotion had been ignited with a kiss; it was obvious that Riane still had _a lot _of things to work through, things that weren't going to go away quickly or easily.

"I love my children," Riane moaned.

"Shh," Emily soothed. "I know you do. Just relax Riane and you can see them in the morning."

Emily said nothing else save for a few more small assurances that Riane would be able to see her children in the morning. Physically restraining the crying woman was oddly intimate for Emily and it made her realize that it had been a long time since someone had needed her the way Riane had at that moment. When Riane had finally begun to calm down Emily loosened her grip and released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Looking down at her shirt Emily frowned at the smeared blood, in the struggle Riane must have gotten some of the blood from all the scratches on her arms on Emily's shirt. Sighing lightly Emily pulled back.

"Riane do you have a first aid kit?"

When she didn't get an answer Emily slowly got to her feet and walked over to the medicine cabinet, when a brief search yielded nothing she tried again.

"Riane I need to disinfect and bandage your arms before we can do anything."

"Under the sink."

Emily looked over at Riane but there seemed to be no outwardly sign that she had been the one to answer the question. Even when Emily retrieved the kit and began to disinfect and bandage Riane's arms her eyes remained dull and she moved only to give Emily better access to her arms. Getting busy with the bandages Emily tried to sort through everything that had just happened in her mind and compartmentalize seeing a friend in so much pain.

"I'm gonna be sick," Riane said as she pushed Emily away and lurched for the toilet. True to her word the heaving began almost instantly leaving Emily scrambling to get Riane's hair out of the way; years of doing so for drunk friends having given her fast reflexes. When Riane was nothing more than dry heaving Emily gently put her hair down and went to get a face cloth and a glass of water.

She handed Riane the face cloth when she heard the toilet flush. Leaning back against the tub Riane closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.

"How are you feeling?" Emily asked tentatively.

"Head hurts, throat too…ribs"

Emily nodded, "The prettier side effects of puking your guts out."

Riane smirked and looked over at her, reaching a hand out for the glass of water on the vanity, "Do you mind?"

Emily shook her head as she handed over the glass and accepted Riane's look of gratitude before she emptied the glass.

"I guess I really messed everything up," Riane said quietly.

Emily made a face, "I wouldn't say that-"

"Well it was bad enough that my children had be removed from my house."

"Not permanently."

Riane massaged her temples, "God what Hotch must think."

Emily nodded slowly and leaned against the counter next to the sink, "I think he was shocked more than anything."

Riane shook her head, "He was right you know, maybe I am crazy."

"Riane you're not crazy but you have been through an unimaginable trauma and you need to deal with that."

"That could take years," Riane said weakly. "I have three kids, I need to work. The mortgage on the house is sometime more than I can afford…but I _have _to do it."

Emily nodded, she knew that there was nothing she could say that would bring her co-worker any comfort.

"Come on," Emily prompted. "You go get changed and let me clean up in here. I'll give Hotch a call and let him know what's going on later."

Riane nodded slowly before pushing herself up to her feet. She wasn't her usual self but Emily had expected that. She watched at Riane disappeared into her bedroom before she went about straightening the bathroom.

* * *

The next morning Aaron sat in his vehicle clutching the steering wheel like he had been for the past half hour. He couldn't bring himself to go into Riane's home because he still wasn't sure what to expect. Like he'd assumed Morgan and Garcia had been more than willing to watch over the boys for the night and he'd given them the car seats and the babysitter's address and some money in case things had carried to the next day.

Which it had.

After he'd dropped the boys off Aaron hadn't had much to do as Jack had stayed at a friend's house for the night. Normally, Aaron would never allow sleepovers on a school night but it was a Wednesday night on the first week of school so he'd figured that it would be fine. He'd met the boy's parents and they seemed like a stable couple which made Aaron comfortable with entrusting them with his son.

He looked up to see Prentiss standing in the doorway with an expectant look on his face. Taking one last deep breath he opened the door, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and walked up to the front door.

"How is she?" He asked.

Prentiss shrugged, "She's still sleeping. I think she might sleep for the next little while…it wasn't a good night."

He nodded slowly, "Thank you for doing this. I…think I'm going to stay here with her today. You know, so I can make sure she's okay."

He was glad when Emily did nothing but nod, "I think that's for the best. When she wakes I would take a look at her arms and make sure there's no infection."

He arched an eyebrow, "Infection? What happened?"

"She scratched and scrubbed them raw. I think she was trying to get clean…"

He nodded slowly as Emily walked towards her car to get home and changed before a new day at the BAU.

"Call me if there's a case," He called to her.

"I will. Hey Hotch? Take care of her okay?"

He smiled weakly, "I will. Thanks."

Aaron watched Prentiss' car disappear around the corner before he went into the house. His first instinct was to go and see how Riane was doing but he had to remind himself that not only was it not appropriate, he was the reason she was there.

He'd been so stupid for thinking that he could just kiss her like that, and so selfish in his belief that he was some kind of proverbial Prince Charming who could fix all her problems with that same kiss. He'd just want to _act_, he seemed to spend his whole life thinking and sometimes he got tired of waiting.

At least everything was out in the open, he'd only have made it worse to have his away and lived in denial. Although he doubted that his feelings were reciprocal he still wanted to be there for her, as a friend if that was possible.

Filling a glass with some water he went down headed down the hall. He'd gotten used to it in the short time that he'd lived there but now that he'd been gone for a couple of days he was taken aback by how vacant the house seemed to be without any paint or pictures on the wall. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind he knocked on her bedroom door and listened for a response. When he didn't get an answer he slowly opened the door and peaked his head in to make sure she was decent before he entered placing the glass of water on the bedside table before leaving to get one of the chair's from the kitchen seeing as there wasn't one in the room.

When he returned he set the chair down and took a seat. Watching her sleep his first thought was that she looked absolutely _exhausted. _There were dark circles under her eyes that sharply contrasted the paleness of her skin, the woman had always hair fair skin but the stress of recent events seemed to have drained all the blood from near the surface of her skin.

The second thing he noticed were the bandages.

Prentiss' words came to mind as he stared at the white, gauze-like material that covered the skin from her wrists to her elbows. He hadn't noticed her arms before he'd left the night before but it made his stomach churn to think that he'd prompted such a negative and self-destructive response.

Without warning she jolted awake and had her government issued firearm aimed at his head before he could react. Taking a deep breath he extended his palms to show he meant her no harm before speaking.

"Riane its Hotch. I'm not going to hurt you but you need to put the gun down…please."

It took her a moment, but Aaron watched as the panic receded from her expression and the shaking hand that was holding the gun slowly lowered.

She took a deep breath, "Jesus Hotch."

He lowered his hands, "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"No no, I should have expected a man in my bedroom. My bad." The sarcasm in her tone was palpable.

He opened his mouth to explain but was interrupted by her scrambling to get out of bed and he was eternally grateful that she was in sweatpants and a tank top rather than something akin to the nightgowns that Haley had worn to bed. He watched her stumble to the full length mirror and grasp the sides, giving herself a good look over. She scrutinized the bandages on her arms before turning around and staring at him.

"Oh my _God_ Hotch! You," she covered her mouth and whimpered. "And I…Oh my God I can't believe-" She cut off suddenly and he knew what was coming next.

He stood, "They're fine Riane, they were with Morgan and Garcia last night and they dropped them off with Heather this morning."

She took a long deliberate breath and nodded her head.

"Okay," She said simply. "I need to go and get them."

He shook his head and moved to intercept her at the door, grasping her upper arms. "Riane they're fine and you're in no state to go and get them."

When he didn't get a response he realized what he'd done and let her go. She immediately backed away and wrapped her arms around herself and he wanted nothing more than to make her trembling stop.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't think-"

She shook her head, "No I'm sorry. You can't seriously think for a minute that I wouldn't love to be able to accept everything you offered. I am so _tired _of being afraid, and having nightmares, and not being able to touch…I just want to be normal again." She smirked, "I must sound so selfish."

"No," he murmured. "You don't." He smiled sadly, "I understand what you're saying and I truly hope that one day you can get back to your normal. I'll go get your kids and you can get ready and do what you need to."

Nodding his head one last time he turned to go get Riane's children like he'd said he would when a hand grasping his wrist stopped him in his tracks. Turning back he said nothing as the grasp on his wrist tightened. He continued to watch and eventually step forward when she pulled gently on his wrist. He was tempted to stop, step back, and walk away yet he did nothing when she pulled him close and hugged him. To stunned to react he did nothing for a moment before he carefully returned the hug. It felt good to hold her in his arms even if her five foot four frame was engulfed by his six foot one body.

When she pulled back a moment later he was at a loathe to let her go but did so because he largely preferred it when they weren't annoyed or ignoring each other.

"What was that?" He asked slowly.

She shook her head, "I just…I don't want to be afraid, and I think…I was hoping actually that maybe we could try."

She'd spoken so quietly that he almost hadn't heard what she had said. When the pieces fell into place in his brain his eyes widened and he did his best to stop himself from falling over.

"Are you sure?" He asked cautiously.

"No," she laughed. "But for as long as I've known you you've always done what was best for the people you love and I mean it's not like I haven't done a lot worse. Besides, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't attracted to you. I just shoved all that to the back of my mind because no one should have to deal with all the baggage I'm hauling around."

He arched an eyebrow, his head tilting slightly, "But if you felt that way, why did you shut me out?"

"I didn't-"

He smirked, "Riane you didn't talk to me for days."

She sighed and took a seat on the bed, gesturing for him to sit back down in the chair, "I didn't want to, not really. But all I could think about was what Rossi had told me-"

"Rossi?" He interrupted. "What did Rossi tell you?"

She waved her hand dismissively, "It was just something he'd said at my birthday party last month. He just told me that I had to be careful because if my kids got too attached to you it would be hard when you left. It was just a well-intentioned warning but I just got scared because I didn't want them to get hurt; I just went about it the wrong way."

Aaron made a mental note to speak to Rossi the next time he got the chance, for the time being he tried to keep his focus on Riane. She was opening up to him, and he was sure as hell not going to throw away that gift.

"But I know it was wrong so I'm hoping I and avoid it in the future," she continued, taking his larger hand in between her smaller one and pressing it to her lips. "I don't want to hurt you because God knows you've suffered Aaron, _a lot_. It's just that the thought of touch…of sex just…" She let the sentence drop and he could see the goose bumps that accompanied her shudder.

Squeezing her hand gently he made sure she was looking at him before he spoke, "Riane that's not what this is about. We can try things to see what does and what doesn't work and take as long as we want."

The smile he got was answer enough for him and he gently retracted his hand before standing, "I took the day off-"

"God Aaron I'm fine!"

"-_so_," he continued, "I'm going to go get the boys. Get dressed, do whatever and when I'll get back we'll get something to eat and take a look at your arms, okay?" He prompted.

She grinned and shook her head, "Yes Agent Hotchner. Now go, and tell Heather that I'll be over tomorrow to pay her."

"Taken care of."

Her eyebrows disappeared into her hairline, "Aaron I don't know whether to slap you or kiss you. You can take a guess of which one I'm in favour of."

He grinned when she used his name for the second time. She'd only ever called him Hotch and he was used to it at work but he much preferred to hear her call him Aaron. It was less informal and it let him know that she was comfortable around him, at least more so than she had been two week ago.

"Well I'm paying you back. How much did you give her?"

"You know I can't seem to remember."

"Can't seem to- You're a piece of work aren't you?"

He shrugged, "Depends on who you ask. I should be back within twenty minutes, I'll see you in a bit."

She shook her head as she watched him leave the door and heard the door close shortly after, she had no idea what she'd gotten into but she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't going to be something she was going to regret.

* * *

_Calling all Criminal Minds author/readers the 2013 Profiler Choice Awards are currently under way! Help us choose the best of the best of the CM stories on, and let your voice be heard. Please check out the nomination ballot and rules at the ProfilerChoiceAwards2013 Forum. All rules and information are on the forum. Nominations are due October 31st._


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